“But it’s different, Dad. You were able to find a job. I don’t have one lined up.”
“Have you tried looking? And I’m not talking about waiting for one specific opportunity to drop into your lap,” his father said, giving him a serious look. “You’re a very talented and smart person, Jensen. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. And you have savings, don’t you?”
He nodded.
“I’m also guessing your house is worth much more than you paid for it with all the work you’ve done. So sell your house, move to Sevier, be happy, and figure out the rest later.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It’s not. Life is hard, son. It’s going to kick you down every chance it gets. But you have the ability to choose happiness and a partner that’s going to help you get through all the tough times.Don’t let that go because you’re worried about money. Don’t let life pass you by because you’re worried about a little risk.”
Jensen looked down at the counter. He wasn’t sure if he was brave enough to fly to Sevier with no guarantee he would find work. Architecture was a demanding and difficult field with not a lot of job openings, and it was entirely possible Jensen would go months without finding a new position. Even with his accomplishments to smooth the way, it would be hard for him to get into a new firm. That was one of the reasons he hadn’t tried leaving his current job.
And Sevier was much smaller than San Francisco. It wasn’t a little village, but it was a blip on the map compared to the major cities in California. There were likely only a few reputable firms Jensen would consider working at. But then what? He didn’t want to get himself into the same situation just in a new place.
One of the pioneers of art nouveau, a man Jensen studied and respected, had rejected every call to enroll in or work for the long-standing art schools in nineteenth-century France, claiming every architect that went there came out identical. Jensen had once thought himself on par with the visionary, thought he was also snubbing the current trends and what the governing boards wanted. But he hadn’t been creating anything he liked. He had given in to the industry pressures and given up his passions—all for a guaranteed paycheck. He had been disappointing himself for years.
Jensen really wanted to do work that made him happy, fulfilled him. Sure, he could move to Sevier and continue designing the most modern offices like he was currently. He would be more satisfied, undoubtedly, because he’d be with Daniel. But Jensen wanted the dream job and the dream man, and he wanted them now. His patience had run out long ago, and he was ready to get his life on the right track.
He couldn’t dismiss his father’s words though. This was a good opportunity to make changes. He needed to make changes before he found himself old and grouchy, retiring from the company he couldn’t stand. That wasn’t what he wanted out of his life. He didn’t want to be alone and burned out anymore.
Jensen looked back up at his father, the man that had advocated for him and always made sure he had room to be himself. “What if I get to Sevier and I can’t find a job? What if I blow through all my savings? What if I fail?”
He refused to voice any worries about his relationship with Daniel not working out. His throat already wobbled and his eyes burned as he stared into his dad’s eyes. He couldn’t even think about Daniel breaking up with him; it might ruin him more than being unemployed and out of money. And there was no reason for Jensen to think they were headed that way.
Besides the small hiatus Jensen took that afternoon to get his anxieties and frustrations under control without lashing out at Daniel, they had continued to talk almost constantly. And he was still riding the high brought on from Daniel being at his house. But what if he had no income? How would he help Daniel with his financial struggles?
Everything in Jensen’s life hinged on him getting a job in Sevier. And if he failed …
Graham put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You’ll only fail if you stop trying, son. Besides, you think your mother won’t be bringing over meals to fill your fridge? She’s already looking for transfers to move with you,” he said with a smile.
Jensen rolled his eyes, but deep down, he appreciated his mother’s support more than he could ever express. “I’m too old to be moving back in with my parents. And I don’t think Daniel would be too keen on that either.”
His father chuckled. “No, I’m sure he wouldn’t. But you’re not going to fail. Things will work out the way they should.”
“How can you be so sure?” He wanted to share in his dad’s unshakable optimism, but it was hard. His future was too unstable for him to be so confident in it.
“I’m sure because I know you and you don’t give up that easily. Even when I’ve thought you should give something up, you keep at it. You’ll figure it out, I know you will. And you’ll have your mother and me here to help as much as we can.”
He let out a heavy breath. Maybe his dad was right. Maybe he had to go into this with hope and determination that he would figure it out. He didn’t want to fail, and he didn’t necessarily think he would, but his anxiety wouldn’t let him forget it was a possibility.
God, he was going to give himself an ulcer with the number of nerves churning in his stomach.
“Finish your food, then come help me with a puzzle,” his dad said, giving him an out from the serious conversation.
“Hey, dad,” Jensen called out, waiting until his father looked back at him. “Don’t tell Mom about this yet. She would book the next flight out and start dropping my résumé off to every firm in the city.”
His dad laughed. “That she would. You know we love you, right?”
With a small smile, he nodded and picked up the fork again to cut off another piece.
While he wasn’t entirely convinced everything would magically work out, he did feel marginally better than he had sitting at home.
He wasn’t willing to move to Sevier without a job just yet. That was too risky. But he would start actually applying to companies. Companies that had dedicated restoration teams or worked specifically on less modern build-outs.
“How was the party?” Jensen asked. His phone was pressed against his ear as he lay on his side in bed. His cold, empty bed.
But his stomach was full, he’d enjoyed a few hours with his father, and he was cocooned by all the blankets on his bed. The thing bringing him the most comfort was Daniel’s voice through the phone though.
