“Alright,” Felaf said after watching me for a moment. “Let’s find Letti.”
Chapter 30
Raithe
My back burnedfor hours throughout the night, but not from the lashes. As I laid on my stomach in the infirmary, the balm working into my broken skin, it washertouch that lingered.
The pain from the lashings I could handle. I welcomed them as atonement for my past. What I couldn’t handle, it seemed, was Rahzlyn.
She’d chewed me out like no one before.
Everything I did was for the good of the queendom. My actions were justifiable because they had to be. She couldn’t understand that, and I couldn’t understand her. The only logical reasoning for her assistance was deception; that was part of her plan to manipulate me into trusting her.
But the animosity blazing between us had burned away into something else when I’d held her up, something I couldn’t quite identify. Something I didn’twantto identify.
“Look at that, almost as good as new!”
I groaned, peeling my chest from the cot. My mind must have eventually settled enough to have fallen asleep.
Gertah stood bent over me. She examined my back beneath her spectacles in approval. “Much better. Did you use BloodHealing?” When I shook my head, she sighed. “Then did you finally ask for assistance from one of my apprentices to apply yarrow?”
Admitting I’d let the princesstendto me seemed… inappropriate, considering I never let anyone touch me—not even the healers. Thatwas why I’d tensed as soon as Rahzlyn started massaging me with her fingers. She must have only done that to fuck with my head.
Gertah, much to her chagrin, respected my request for distance each time I found myself in need of mending. It was for that reason I obliged her by staying at least one night under her watchful care. Dutifully ignoring her question, I reached for the pile of fresh black clothes neatly folded on the stand.
“So stubborn, you are,” Gertah chided. “Like Hector. Never could get that man to stay still for too long.”
I observed her at the mention of the previous solar guardian, noting the fond glint in her eyes.
“Don’t give me that look, young man. I knew him for longer than you’ve been alive. Treated every wound and bruised ego of his in this very room, much to his vexation,” she said affectionately.
I spent eleven years under his wing and remembered all too well the man she described. I rubbed at my chest absentmindedly, pushing away the discomfort of his abrupt absence.
“He talked about you all the time down here, you know. Of your shared love of books, how proud he was of the guardian you were becoming at his side?—”
“Thank you for the mending, Gertah,” I said curtly, tying the strings of my tunic. I didn’t want to talk about Hector anymore. I couldn’t.
“Yes, of course.” She attempted to cover up a sniffle by scratching at her nose. “So damned dusty down here.”
Once I was fully dressed, she forced a green glass of potent juice into my hands. “Nio’s healing blend, freshly pressed. I’ll let you leave once finished. And I better not see you in here for a whilethis time.”
The tastes of cucumber, lemon, ginger, parsley, celery, and apples stung my throat. I smacked my lips in emphasis before handing her the empty glass. Satisfied, she allowed me to depart.
Upon resurfacing to the palace, I learned more than a day and a half had gone by. It was already early afternoon. After bathing in the privacy of my own chambers, I meditated to rid my mind of the lingering sensations from my heated encounter with Rahzlyn.
I couldn’t get the image of her face out of my mind—particularly when she went off on me with such passion. I shouldn’t have enjoyed the fire in her eyes. Not when the words that came out of her mouth weren’t at all pleasant.
Then you’ve never known love.
It was wrong to still be thinking about her.
That’s a mask you’re hiding behind to justify this obsession you have with the apostai.
Her words cut right through me.
Is it so hard to believe that someone could put aside personal animosities to help another?
It was. No one truly cared about others, let alone strangers, without wanting something in return. People were leeches in disguise.
