I may have foundhudro,but there was no text or advice from Gregorios on how to wield it for the first time. I reached for something within me, coming up empty. My lungs burned, desperate for air.
A little longer. I had to have faith in myself for a little longer, and something would happen. It had to. All of this couldn’t have been for nothing. The music in the wind, in the water around me now, morbid as it was, had to mean something.
Right?
A sob tore from my chest, allowing liquid to pour into my mouth.Shit, no, not yet!I needed more time. Another cry. More air escaped, replaced by water. Unable to push anything out, more water forced its way down my throat. I choked, sparking a chain of coughs and gurgles.
This was it, wasn’t it?This was how I died.
I wasn’t exceptional. I was no match for the curse after all, nor fit to save the people plagued by it. As my body convulsed, I didn’t focus on the panic. Instead, I remembered the musty, herbal aroma of my home. The map of the realm on my bedroom wall. Nahn’s curls tied in her yellow scarf. Pahn’s soothing voice by the fireplace. Basil’s hazel eyes fixated on his cards. Raithe’s gorgeous, rare smile aimed at me.
And I was at peace.
Chapter 51
Raithe
“Come on,”I hissed under my breath, fists clenched at my sides. “Come on.”
The moment Rahzlyn disappeared beneath the surface, my body quaked in protest.
Three bell tolls had passed.
Rahzlyn had to live. She fuckinghadto.
Felaf elbowed my side. “Calm the fuck down.”
I shot her a look, though she’d been right. I was shaking and on the verge of losing my shit.
Hector’s final written words had haunted me from the moment I’d read them. I hadn’t wanted to frighten Rahzlyn with them when she was anxious for today, especially when I had no idea what they meant.
Four bell tolls.
I listened to Rahzlyn’s accelerating heart rate.
It’s not real.
What had Hector meant?I couldn’t fathom why he didn’t tell me he was also looking into the curse. Regret pitted my stomach. I may have cared for him, but I never let him all the way in.If I had, maybe he would have told me his suspicions. I’d kept everyone at a distance, and now I was paying for it.
Being a guardian, having a purpose to serve and protect, was all that had once mattered to me. It was how I survived beyond my painful childhood. Around Rahzlyn, my world was no longer black and white. It was bursting with color, life, and a call to live beyond my duties. But that life—one that I never envisioned nor believed possible for me—could only exist by sharing it with others.
With her.
Five bell tolls.Pockets of air slipped from her mouth.
I’d thought that part of me was broken, damaged, or simply nonexistent. That was what made me so successful up to this point. No distractions to impede my goal of proving everyone around me wrong. That I was worthy of being Chosen. Of existing.
Rahzlyn got under my skin in a way no one else did. She talked to me like she wanted me to know her. Not as her guardian, but as a man.
Six bell tolls.Her first choking sound decimated my ears.
Feeling this much terror was worth it if it meant that she was real. There was no faking what she did to?—
Faking.
Fake.
The gears in my mind spun around that criticallyimportant word.
