Raithe’s forearm braced against the bookshelf, caging me in. A startled, wordless plea slipped from my lips. His own body responded by falling closer as if to capture that sound with his mouth.
Our lips hovered, breaths mingled, both of us lost in the suspended moment caught between right and wrong. His hand grazed my hip as if pulled toward where my thoughts tugged him. Curiosity blazed in his eyes.
“Raithe,” I whispered, needing him to confirm this was real.
He pinched the robe and nightgown’s layers that gathered above my thigh, testing. A fiery ache bloomed in my core. I had to stop myself from writhing closer.
When I thought he would dip his hand beneath the slit of my robe, giving in to what we both so clearly wanted, he schooled his face into neutrality and straightened.
“You should get some sleep,” he said in a strained voice.
The abrupt shift knocked me back into my senses. “Um, right. Sure.”
Stars above, what am I doing?I needed to get out of there—fast—before I stripped naked and begged for more.
Pulling the robe tighter around me, I pushed out from under his arm and stumbled over his boot, falling against the bookshelf. Several books clattered to the ground as a result of my clumsiness. We bent down to retrieve them at the same time, our heads butting into each other.
“Ow!” I hissed.
“You alright?”
I couldn’t look at his face. Not as he went utterly still. My robe had come entirely undone, revealing my nightgown. The gown was thin enough for us both to see my nipples poking through the material, and it wasn’t because of the chilly air.
I squealed, clutching the fabric to me, and made to remove myself from the increasingly humiliating situation. In stepping back, the heel of my foot caught on a stray book. I tumbled backwards. Raithe caught me before I flew back, holding me in a hovering position parallel to the ground.
I pointed behind him. “I should?—”
His eyes searched mine, darkening before he set me upright.
Without a word, I bolted across the terrace.
Chapter 39
Raithe
I once heardthat cold water could help clear an impure mind. I didn’t know if that meant a simple splash or full-on plunge, but the latter seemed most appropriate.
As soon as the sun rose and Felaf took my place, I raced to my chambers without so much as an acknowledgement. She’d been asleep while Rahzlyn and Italked, but it was our silence that worried me. The silence where a hidden beast demanded to be set free and explore Rahzlyn’s mind and body unabashedly.
I could count on one hand how many times in my life my cock had operated with a mind of its own, growing hard and uncomfortable upon waking. My hands drifted beneath the cool water, itching to relieve the throbbing ache. I steadied my breath, attempting to resist the pull.
In a moment of weakness, I let myself wonder what would have happened if she’d stayed.
“Fucccck,” I groaned, tossing my head back.
My hips jerked at the memory of how close we’d been—Serpentine, atop Cobalt, the infirmary, the bath… last night. She was alwaysright there, infiltrating my mind and skin, yet it wasn’t close enough.
I wanted more.
There was no law in the Treaty against imagining such unchastity, but what had almost happened was dangerous. I’d been one second away from kissing her.
Kissingher, for fuck’s sake.
Even if we weren’t Chosen, I could never deserve her affection. She was tender and warm, my opposite in every way.
My desire banked slightly at such an impasse.
I didn’t know a damned thing about attraction or bonds, but I did know there was no good reason for her to want someone likeme.
