“Good night, Raithe.” She didn’t move.
“Good night, Rahzlyn.” Neither did I.
One of us needed to break the pull before I did something we’d both regret, like touching her cheek or running my thumb over her lip. Or worse, unburdening more of my twisted soul on her.
Her hands fidgeted with her skirts. Then finally, to my relief and dismay, she retreated. I waited for her to slip inside before resting my head against the closed door to steady my breathing. I couldn’t stop myself from listening to her shuffle through her wardrobe. As she slipped out of fabrics and into a nightgown, the material ghosted her skin the way I’d wanted to.
I sought the chain in my pocket.
No matter what I did, she found a way inside my head. I feared what she’d see there—how broken, how…empty I was. That was why I clung to my purpose, to my title as guardian. They were the only things that had once kept me moving. The only things worth living for. But now, with sweat crawling down my spine and desire tightening my chest, I wasn’t so sure anymore. Something was happening to me—something changing inside.
Maybe working together, trusting each other, would lead to us unraveling the secrets of her past. The secrets her grandparents knew and kept, the secrets connecting her to the apostai, and the secrets of our curse could all come to fruition by working as a team.
And maybe—justmaybe—it didn’t have to be duty alone pushing me forward.
Maybe it could be something else too. Someoneelse.
Chapter 38
Rahzlyn
Water engulfed me.I treaded everywhere and nowhere, too heavy to make a difference against the force that suffocated me. This was it. No one was coming to save me. I was going to drown down here, alone, buried at the bottom of this magical, endless abyss?—
I shot upright, gasping for breath and clawing at the sheets around me. Water coated my skin, but the softness of the bed reminded me it was sweat, and I wasn’t drowning.
But Iwasfailing.
If I didn’t successfully findhudrosoon,as Gregorios reminded me every day,my vivid nightmares would become my fate.
And what a horrible way to die that would be.
I dragged my hands through my damp, tangled hair. I didn’t understand what else I needed to do apart from reading and soaking in baths every night. Admittedly, the latter had helped speed the healing of my glyphs. The scabs were falling off finally and the itching subsided. I only wished my mind could progress as quickly as my body.
If I had to hear Gregorios remind me of my own power—and that I needed to get out of my own way—one more time, I was going to lose my stars-damned mind.
Sliding out of the bed, I sought my black robe and tucked myself into it tightly. The loss of my grandparents and brother would remain, but each day the pain of their absence became more bearable. My eyes landed on the double doors, picturing who stood on the other side.
I’d opted for meals in the kitchen with Nio every night, resulting in more conversations with Raithe along the way. We talked about nothing and everything, it seemed. There were topics I knew to steer clear of, particularly around his past, even though I longed to know more about him.
But the feeling of being trapped in my role and this palace eased with each conversation. Our evenings in the kitchens became, surprisingly, the best part of my days. He was the most intimidating man I’d ever met, and yet I was addicted to peeling back the quiet layers of his impenetrable armor. I feared I was beginning to like the man underneath it all in ways that were utterly and completely forbidden.
My feet moved of their own accord.
Raithe’s concerned brow lifted as I peered at him from behind the cracked open door. “Everything alright?” he asked, no doubt having heard my initial gasp upon waking.
“Can’t sleep,” I admitted. “Bad dream.”
“Need me to fetch Letti?”
“I need a distraction.”
His lips twitched. “And you thought of me?”
“Didn’t you once offer yourself as one?” I crooned.
Raithe considered my invitation. “Follow me.”
I trailed after him back into my room, across the terrace, and into his neighboring chamber. He kept his crimson curtains drawn, barring any visibility through the arched open wall.Unlike Gregorios and Felaf, who opted to keep theirs half-open most of the time. Though Gregorios could hardly ever be found in them, sleeping most nights in his observatory, apparently.
