A part of me roared in protest to keep the painful memories at bay where they belonged. Another part, a louder and newer one, yearned to meet Rahzlyn’s vulnerability with my own.
My hands flexed at my sides. I breathed through the discomfort. “Hector—” My mouth clamped shut. I tried again. “Hector was Scorpio’s solar guardian for nearly forty years. The queendom loved him. He was a legend on the Isles. When Ibecame a Chosen, I thought I knew everything. I came to this palace with confidence, arrogance even.”
“Shocking.”
I suppressed a grin despite the somber topic. “By your logic, is your manhood insufficient?”
She laughed, the sound enveloping me with its warmth. “Suchlogiconly applies to men who piss me off.” Her eyes dipped to my mouth. “You have a nice smile, Raithe. You should wear it more often.”
My stomach flipped. I hadn’t realized I’d been smiling. “Uh?—”
Rahzlyn touched my right arm, and I nearly tripped over my own fucking boots. “It’s just a compliment,” she murmured. “You were saying?”
I shoved my fingers through my hair, finding purchase along my scalp. I didn’t know what else to do with them. I didn’t even know what to say. My mind had gone utterly blank—something that had never happened to me before.
“About Hector?” she reminded me with amusement.
“Right, Hector. He—” I cleared my throat and tried again. “Hector quickly showed me that there was always something else to learn. He taught me where to look and how to use our senses, sharpening our bodies and softening our minds. He believed guardians are a symbol of hope to our people. That we make them feel safe, even during this curse, because we’re also protectors of the queendom.”
Rahzlyn’s hand slid down my arm—tomyhand. “He sounds like a wonderful man, Raithe. I wish I could have met him. Tell me more?”
The words climbed up my throat, begging to be set free. “He kept his favorite books in the antechamber after Queen Auden’s passing and read there even though there was no queen to watch. When he… passed unexpectedly last year, most ofhis belongings were destroyed. Except Maryn didn’t knowthosebooks in the antechamber were his.”
I’d been careless, letting Barto and Chessah spy on me while reading in the chair—Hector’s chair—wishing he was still there.
“What about your father?” Rahzlyn asked tentatively, lowering her hand. As if she sensed the dark direction of my thoughts. “Did he enjoy books, too?”
I laughed sharply. “My father enjoyed ale and his fishing boat. He was not a good man. But my mother—” I stopped myself abruptly, unable to go there. “You’re leading us in the wrong direction, by the way.”
Rahzlyn peered around. “Are you certain?”
Amusement tickled my chest. “I’ve lived here for twelve years. I think I know my way around.”
She darted ahead, her bare feet flashing beneath the hem of her dress. I called after her, “That leads to the training courtyard.” She spun in the opposite direction, hopping over the streams of water lining the floor. “And that’s the Great Hall. That’s the servants’ wing. That’s the guest wing. Aaaandthat’sthe throne room?—”
Whirling to face me, she groaned. “Fine, I give in. Which way to the kitchens?”
“Are those the manners of a princess?”
She blew a loose curl from her forehead that my fingers itched to smooth back. “Please, oh dutiful guardian. If you’re going to follow me everywhere, you might as well be of use.”
“As though me being charged with protecting your life isn’t useful.”
“At this rate you’re endangering my life. I’m starving here.”
I laughed genuinely this time. On anyone else I didn’t have the tolerance for such dramaticism, but on her it was disarming.
Taking pity on her grumbling stomach, I guided us in the correct direction. “Lucky for you, Nio never leaves the kitchens. Not even to sleep.” I was only partially joking.
Rahzlyn inhaled deeply. “Even from here it smells divine. I can’t imagine how it smells to you.”
I swung open the door to the kitchens. The burly cook lifted his head from the table where he’d been kneading dough. Behind him, the kitchens opened up to an outdoor garden with herbs, vegetables, some fruits, and even spices.
“Princess!” Nio clasped his hands together, causing more flour to plume the air. “When Letti would return with all that untouched food, I feared you’d grown tired of my cooking.”
Rahzlyn’s face softened. “I didn’t mean to offend you. My appetite hasn’t been what it normally is. Until now,” she said, glancing briefly in my direction. “And I’m sorry to bother at this hour?—”
“Nonsense! Come, come and see.” Nio beckoned her to him. “Do you prefer savory, sweet, spicy?”
