“Doyou?” I retorted.
“It doesn’t matter what I think, or anyone else for that matter.”
I once thought so too. But that was when my imperfections had no effect on the lives of others. “I’m grateful you’ve kept my secrets at the risk of your own life, Letti. I am. But I’m selfish and imperfect and hardly prepared to be a princess, let alone a queen. We both know that I’m not fit for this life. I’m a symptom of the curse, not its breaker.”
“That’s it.” Letti slammed the trays against the vanity, their clanking loud and abrupt. “If I listen to any more of this I’m going to stab my ears.”
I sat upright to question her just as she yanked me from the bed.
“Letti!” I shrieked, fending her off. She ignored my resistance and dragged me across the terrace with determination. “Stars, you are deceptively strong. Where are you—” My words were swallowed by the cold water she pushed me into.
I resurfaced, gasping in shock as my night dress clung to my body.
“You will grieve for the rest of your life.” Letti spoke from the edge of the pool. “But you must learn to live with it. Time is the only remedy.”
I wrapped my arms around myself.
“I color my hair because it gives people something else to talk about besides my limp—my limp that has taken more from me than you could ever imagine. I could either drown in self-pity, or move, change—flow with the river of burdens that life tosses us into.” She paused, her stare surprisingly soft. “Do not lose yourself in your sorrows. Always keep moving, and the pain will lessen.”
She left without another word. I stared after her, dumbfounded by her somber candor. Shivers racked my body as the cold water lapped against me. Unlike the bathing chamber, the terrace pool was not temperature controlled. I craned my neck to take in the stars overhead. Several large ones twinkled. My heart tightened, imagining them to be my grandparents. My brother, even.
Forever watching from above, there was nowhere to hide from my family’s judgement now. I wondered if the souls of the stars had thoughts—and if they did, what they must have thought of me.
Slow bootsteps approached. Raithe emerged from the shadows, arms folded across his broad chest and a blanket slung over his right shoulder. He eyed me skeptically. “Practicing again?”
“L-letti,” I grumbled, clutching my arms. I didn’t know how long I’d been in here, but enough time had passed for my skin to prune.
“She means well.”
I stared up at him, a slimy, green knot furling in my stomach. “Since w-when do you g-give out compliments?” I didn’t care if he liked Letti. Apart from the fact that he was Chosen and therefore forbidden from having sexual intimacy with anyone, I was primarily concerned for his well-being. Since he was my guardian, and all. “The oath of c-celibacy isn’t only about s-sex, right?” I blurted. “You shouldn’t love or experience r-romantic feelings for anyone.”
Raithe’s stare darkened. “I’m aware.”
“Just r-reminding you.”
“Consider me reminded,” he said wryly.
“G-great.” My fingers rubbed along my pebbled skin.
He held out his hand. “You plan on standing in there much longer? Your chattering teeth are grating my ears.”
“Fine, I’ll t-take pity on your poor, g-guardian ears.” I clasped his arm, and in one fluid motion he hauled me out of the water. My breath caught as the abrupt movement brought my chest flush with his. With our eyes locked, he draped the blanket around my shoulders.
I gripped the warm material. My body tingled with recognition, remembering the solace I’d found in his strength. He hadn’t been the comfort I’d wanted, but he’d been the comfort I needed.
We hadn’t spoken much since then, primarily because I’d scarcely left my chambers.
He’d checked on me every night, though. When my tears became too uncontrollable, he’d crouched by my bedside and reminded me to breathe. That was it. For some reason, thisman’s presence had a greater effect on me than Gertah’s sleeping draughts.
“H-how are you?” I asked, referring to Hector’s books. “We both suffered a l-loss that night.”
“Fine.”
“I saw the l-look on your face. You were d-devastated, too, Raithe.”
The muscles in his jaw feathered. There was nothing in his eyes now except stone-cold apathy. “I have nothing to be devastated over.”
I took advantage of our proximity to study him. The crook in his nose was rather endearing. He also had unfairly beautiful lashes for a man. Thick and black and curly, like his hair. I wanted to run my fingers through his locks, curious if they were softer than my own.
