“Hardly.”
“Then I’ll stay.”
Our gazes held. Her pupils dilated drastically. “Good.”
“Good.”
Good?My hands curled into fists.What was happening?
“Their names are Iris and Elias, by the way,” Rahzlyn said, continuing to peer at me in a way that made my pulse race. “My grandparents. Will you tell them something for me when you see them?”
“You can tell them yourself in a few hours.”
“Tell my grandmother I’m sorry. For everything. That’ll make facing her here a little easier.”
I studied her timid movements. Her passion dimmed as she spoke about the family she seemed to care so much for. I leaned forward, resting my elbows atop my knees. “Why do you think being Chosen is your punishment?” The question that had been on my mind. “Most view it as a gift.”
“All my life my grandmother believed I was destined for one thing and one thing only.” Rahzlyn held up a single finger. “Marriage. In a masculine kingdom, that’s not uncommon, of course. Fewer opportunities exist for unmarried women. And while I certainly enjoy sex and intimacy, I wanted to prove that maybe I could beat the odds and do something with my life without a man or his money.”
Her casual mention ofsexhad me shifting to accommodate my suddenly tight uniform.
“But I never got the opportunity to do so,” she continued. “Everything I did paled in comparison to that of my brother anyway. Sometimes I wondered if they loved him more because he reminded them of their son—our father—whom they never spoke of. I said as much once when we were younger. But rather than be concerned about why I felt that way, she chastised me for being too sensitive. Too emotional. Too… everything.”
I was enraptured by her honesty. “Perhaps you’re more Scorpion than you’re ready to believe. As a water sign, we are ruled by our emotions.”
She gestured at me. “You certainly don’t let your emotions get the better of you.”
I arched a brow at her. “You seem to be forgetting my—how did you put it?Obsessionwith the apostai.”
Glancing away, Rahzlyn said, “The truth is I’m ashamed. That’s why I’m nervous for you to bring them here. If my grandfather were still in his right mind, I’d also worry about what a disappointment I’ve become to him.”
I leaned into my senses, hearing the apprehension in her voice. What I didn’t understand waswhy. From the moment I met her she had been a force of energy, for better or worse. For her to be so timid, insecure even, seemed wrong. “Why do you say that?”
She hesitated a moment, but whatever she found in my face emboldened her. “Books and numbers couldn’t hold my attention. Instead, I found myself lost in music, in stories, in dancing… in the wind.”
I caught the longing in her voice as she lifted her gaze to the ceiling. Finally, my intuition resurrected itself, imploring me for some odd reason to preserve those words to memory.
In the wind.
“I couldn’t be the daughter they wanted. Too much and yet never enough. But I wasn’t too beautiful,” Rahzlyn murmured despondently, and stars be damned, something stirred in my chest. “I couldn’t keep track of our shop’s accounting and inventory, but Icouldkeep the attention of our customers. When I was eleven, an older man came into the shop and complimented my dress. Even at such a young age, his roaming eyes made me uncomfortable. When I ran to Nahn and told her, she spun me around with pride. After that, Nahn would prop me at the front counter—sometimes outside—in my prettiest dress. And that’s how I drew the attention of the baroness’s son, Jere.” She laughed self-deprecatingly. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. Sleep deprivation, I suppose.”
As I processed what she divulged to me, ignoring thewhypart, I couldn’t stop myself from saying, “And you’re the ashamed one?”
Her eyes lifted to mine. “I said some horrible things to my grandmother the last time I saw her. She raised me like her own daughter, and I insulted her by claiming she wasn’t a parent to me.”
“Parents should love and protect their children no matter what.” The ghosts of my parents resurfaced. I shoved them back down into the depths of my repressed memories. “What of your grandfather? Your brother? Did they condone such behavior?”
“Pahn was still teaching at the Academy back then. He missed most of her attempts to show me off. And Basil was too young to understand. But as we grew older, he noticed—and promised to always take care of me,” she said. “Always.”
“Doesn’t mean he should have enabled that.”
She scowled at me. “He didn’t enable anything. Without him?—”
“Without him, you break down. Without him, you don’t feel capable. You’ve become dependent on him.”
My words were direct, but I was growing tired of seeing her act so helpless when after our short time together, she was anything but.
“That’s not—I am not—” With a huff, she crossed her arms beneath the water. “It’s not Basil’s fault that I haven’t done anything with my life. That I never stood up to my grandmother. Iwantedto prove myself, I just never knew how.”
