“Now we’re getting somewhere,” she teases, bumping her shoulder into mine.
“I’ve never had any thoughts like that about another woman before.” At least, I don’t think I have. I try to recall if I’ve ever looked at another woman and noticed her beauty, and one person comes to mind.Seven.I knew her so long ago, I’d buried anyunnatural—as Headmistress would say—urges, wrote off any feelings I had for her as those of mere friendship.
“I get it can feel scary to acknowledge that. But feeling physically attracted to someone isn’t wrong, even if that person is someone of the same sex.”
“I’mmarried,” I say quietly. I don’t know why I’m whispering, it’s not like it’s a secret.
“To a man who’s never even made you come!” Bec throws her hands up.
“Bec!” I chastise, placing my palm over her mouth.
“What?” Her protest is muffled behind my hand. “It’s true!”
A laugh bubbles out of me, followed by another, until we’re both in hysterics.
Once we’ve finally calmed down, she looks at me again, more serious this time. She turns toward me and places her hand on my cheek, and my heartbeat speeds up again. “Is this okay?”
I nod, biting my lip.
“I may joke around, Della, but you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. Someone who puts your wellbeing and pleasure above their own. Someone who youchoose.”
A tear slides down my cheek at her tenderness, and she leans in and kisses it away. My breath hitches at the contact, and my lower belly flutters.Maybe she’s right. “Bec?”
“Yeah, city girl?” Her voice is barely audible.
“Would it be all right if I kissed you?” I blurt. “Just to see what it feels like? I don’t want you to think I’m using you or taking advantage of you, I just thought maybe—”
“Shh.” Her pointer finger presses against my lips. “I would be honored.”
“Are you sure?” I ask again, searching her eyes in the moonlight.
She smiles. “I’m sure. I get to help my friend discover a new part of herself and I get to kiss a beautiful woman in the process? It’s a win-win for me.”
I try to smile, but my heart is pounding so fast it’s hard to focus on anything else. Bec turns toward me, straddling the log, and gives me one final nod of permission. I scoot over so I don’t have to lean so far and wet my lips with my tongue. I raise my hand to her cheek and lean in, keeping my eyes open until our lips are only an inch apart.
She smells good, sweet like soap and a bit spicy from the whiskey. I close my eyes and eliminate the final inch of space between our lips, pressing mine to hers tentatively.
I was right. Her lips areso soft. Warm and comforting and pleasant, like lying on a plush bed while the afternoon sun streams through the window.
I’ve only ever kissed one person—Gabriel, obviously—and he rarely kisses me, when we’re intimate or otherwise. When he does kiss me, it’s not tender or affectionate. It’s rough and demanding, like he’s taking something rather than giving. Kissing Bec is the complete opposite.
Both our lips part at the same time as our tongues start to explore each other. She tastes like smoke and cinnamon, and the warmth in my belly spreads. The place between my legs starts to throb like it did when I touched myself the other night, and my underwear grows damp with need. I’maroused, kissing another woman—something that only a few days ago would’ve made me feel like a freak. Instead, I feel free.Alive.
I pull away and open my eyes, looking at Bec with a sense of wonder.
“Well?” she asks, breathing heavier than normal.
I bite my lip to hide my smile. “It was nice. Thank you.”
Her smile is proud, and a little mischievous. “You’re a good kisser, city girl.”
I laugh. “Am I?”
She nods. “Definitely.”
A silence falls between us, and I can’t help but question if I’ve ruined the only friendship I’ve managed to make here. “You sure it was okay?”
Her hand lands on my knee once again, giving it a quick squeeze. “More than okay. And I meant what I said. I’m happy to help you figure out who you are outside of the Brotherhood’s influence. We all go through a season of self-discovery after we get out.”
