“That’s funny. Amy said your mum wasn’t feeling well tonight.” I looked closer at him, slowly putting it all together. “Oh my God. Tim. You haven’t told Amy yet, have you?”
His face hardened defensively. “I’m definitely going to tell her tomorrow morning.”
An image flashed of him at the rugby game when he ran from the players’ tunnel past us and gave me an anxious look.
“I see now. That’s why you seemed so tense when you looked my way,” I said. “It was actually the sight of Amy that worried you, and you felt guilty.”
“Yes, exactly.” He pressed his temples. “That’s also why you thought I was breaking up with you—you thought I gave you that look.”
I felt like I was opening myself up fully, and he could see the vulnerable chasm of my anxieties and insecurities when it came to him. I had no reserves now, no shell, like I’d bared myself to him, and it felt scary. Was he willing to do the same?
“You’ve got to share things with me,” I said. “You can’t be on top of everything all the time, operating alone. I mean, I would have made myself available all day to talk. I want you to talk to me. I thought you’d broken up with me…like last time—ghosted me.”
He looked distressed. “Now I can see why you thought that. I’m sorry. I’ve hurt you again.” He took my hands. “I’m going to work hard so you can trust me again.”
“How are we going to make this work logically? Me being down in London, you up here?”
He seemed ready with an immediate response. “I don’t mind the drive back and forth. After this morning, I certainly know the quickest way between London and here. I’m going to make it work. I’m not sure how, but you’re worth the traveling.” He looked determined at the thought of his plan, taking action, which was how he was built. He was noble, sacrificing…and not the only one in this relationship.
“No, Tim,” I said.
“No?” His forehead collapsed.
“Weare going to make it work.Weare.” Last night, he had introduced the “we” into the bedroom, and now it was time for me to say it.
He smiled, his wonderful, handsome face a study in relief. “Okay, you’re right.Weare going to make it work.”
“It’s going to be complicated.” I began to sort through what days I could work on the train and at Tim’s house, but honestly, this felt overwhelming. Was it possible? Where was I going to stay? Where was I going to work? Tim wasn’t living at his own house, and I couldn’t join him at his mother’s home. Could I stay at the inn and work from there? But hopefully by then, Mum and Dad’s business would be up and running, and they might even need my room.
“It’s not complicated.” He placed his forefinger under my chin and lifted my face to him. “You know why?”
I raised my eyebrows. Waiting.
43
Tim
“Because I love you.”I gazed into Tabitha’s eyes, and it made my chest hurt how much I loved her. I felt relief that I could finally tell her. “And that makes everything simple.”
“Oh,” she said, her voice breathy. “Tim, I love you too.”
Oh, thank fuck.
I leaned over the console and touched my forehead to hers, taking her hands in mine. “I can’t do a life without you, Tabitha. I don’t even know how I’ve done it up until now.”
Outside, the stars and moon seemed to shine brighter through the truck windows, lighting up her face. Flickers of silver shot through her eyes, filling my chest with peace, then a pulsing excitement.
“I wanted to tell you last night,” I said. “I went to say it so many times, but I thought it was too soon and it might frighten you away.”
“I’m not frightened,” she said immediately, and her face was more intense than I’d ever seen.
“You’re not frightened?” I kissed her gently on the lips and kissed her again, holding on to her bottom lip and letting its plump wetness slowly slide from my bite. Then I rested my lips on the shell of her ear. “Maybe you should be, a little.”
“Should I?” She shivered. “Why?”
I ran my hands along her arms, like I was warming her up, but I knew it wasn’t the cold that made her shiver.
“Because I scare myself with how much I love you and want you.” I kissed a trail down her neck. “I want to spend all day with you, just to look at you and plant butterfly kisses on your face and hold your hand.” Her full mouth fell open in a gasp, and at the sight of her face wide open with pleasure, I growled. “And then I want to fuck you so hard you scream because you’ve gone so far beyond what you thought pleasure was.” I breathed out, worried that might sound too raw, too much, too soon. “How can a man feel two such different ways about a woman? I don’t know if that’s even right, but I do.”
