With a shuddering breath, she braced her shoulders like there was so much more to say.
“You can tell me anything, Tabs. Promise it won’t go further.” I hoped she’d trust me, and maybe she did once, but I didn’t expect it now.
She hesitated, then faced me full-on, vulnerable. “I don’t know, Tim. I’m just so tired of my parents never taking responsibility for themselves or for me, even when I was young. The faucet broke, I was the one to ring a plumber or try to fix it myself, because there was no money to pay him. There was never money to pay for any extras at primary school, like sports or swimming or even the small school excursions we went on. It was embarrassing. The teachers kept asking for the payments until they got sick of it and gave up. Neither of my parents did things like sign the school trip forms, so I signed their names to them. They never turned up to parent nights.”
She rubbed her temples. “I did all the clothes-washing and house-cleaning from an early age. It was jam sandwiches for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and if we ran out of bread and jam, I walked to the shops to get more. I was always looking around for someone to take care of me, always looking around for the adult, but the adult wasme. It feels like I was never allowed to be a child or a teenager or have fun at uni.”
That was mind-boggling that she’d done that all on her own through high school and uni. She’d always seemed shiny and happy, no sign of the strain she’d been under, and I thought she hadn’t needed or wanted my friendship anymore. Or maybe I hadn’t been a good friend and asked her how she was doing.
Hollowness expanded in the pit of my stomach. This was so different from what I expected.
“Was there any respite at finishing school? Was that fun?”
She did a sort of sigh-hiccup and looked up at me. “The boarding school in Switzerland. Dad had just lost a whole lot of money on one of his many agricultural inventions, so Dad’s cousin, the marquis, forked out for it, but of course, he was so fed up with rescuing them and all his other useless relatives, that he sent me to a ratty, cheap school with alcoholic teachers and no resources. I ended up having to school myself…and some of the other girls. Otherwise, none of us girls was headed for tertiary education. It was marry well or suffer the consequences.”
“Dropping out of school early and finding my career my own way doesn’t sound so bad now. That’s bloody awful, Tabs.”
She huffed. “And when I got home, the house was just total chaos and mess all the time. Well, you’ve seen it. I felt way too embarrassed to invite the other girls from school back, but sometimes I did, just for the company. I mean, there was barely anything to eat, for a start, and no money to go to the movies or do anything fun.” She sighed. “The irony is that I’m the Home and Garden editor. The chronicler of domestic living, where I take readers on tours of beautiful homes.” She shrugged. “I suppose that’s not an irony. It was almost inevitable.”
I nodded and squeezed her hand. I was so angry at myself for my previous assumptions about her, judging Tabs without knowing anything about her circumstances. That was one of the things I didn’t like living in a small town, the instant judgment, that people made assumptions based only on what they could see. How many times had people told me how “lucky” I’d been in my business, what a “natural” I was at sport, without seeing the thousands of hours I’d put into both?
I saw her so differently now, and my chest wrenched hard at her suffering.And I’ve only madethings harder for her instead of just asking some questions. Somehow, I doubted thetown knew how dire things had been for the Balfours. And I felt like a terrible friend. I’d let her down, which, in some ways, explained her hostility toward me.
“I’m so sorry, Tabs. I wish I’d known what you were going through at school.”
I rubbed her arm. She sniffed and blinked, and I offered her the tissue box again. “How on earth did you manage the program at such a good university?”
That was a huge leap from how I’d grown up, straight from high school to an apprenticeship.
“I had to work long hours at local bars to put myself through uni, and now all my savings goes to helping out my parents. I had no siblings to help carry the load, but it’s not just sharing the costs. Emotionally, I feel wrung out. On the edge all the time, this constant pressure, like—what next? How many other shoes can drop?”
I understood more than she knew. Now I was clear about why she was doing this reality show, when being onscreen was so far out of her comfort zone.
She desperately needed the money. Like I did.
“I should have asked more questions, done better.” I put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up so I could look her in the eye. I saw her so differently now, and all I wanted to do was help her find a way out of this. But I also wanted to hold her. “Do you want a hug?”
“Yes. I’d like that.” Her tone was soft and relieved, and finally, she smiled.
I wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on the top of her head, squeezing her tight, then I rested us both against the back of the sofa. Her hands were pressed against my chest, and her face was buried there too. I could feel the dampness of her tears through my T-shirt. I had to stop myself from kissing the top of her head, but I did allow myself to inhale the sweetrose smell of her hair.Why does this feel so…right? Having Tabitha in my arms?
“This okay?” I asked.
“Thank you, Tim.” Her voice was muffled into my chest, and she turned her face up to mine, hiccupping. “I feel so much lighter, telling you all this. I wish I could wash all my worries away with the dust and grime from today.”
I couldn’t help with her parents, but I knew something that would make her feel better. I released her and held up a finger. “Just one moment?”
I texted Macy, asking if she’d arrived okay and had taken over from her twin sister, Stacy. Macy texted back a thumbs-up and the message, “Mum settled in. Making dinner becauseyou know whodidn’t bother.” Busting on her sister as usual.
“I have an idea,” I asked Tabitha. “Are you in?”
“Yes.” She answered without hesitation, with the same eagerness we’d discussed wild schemes as kids.
“I need to grab some supplies,” I said. “Meet me at my truck?”
24
Tabitha
