Page 34 of Ruined By Sin

If Morin is really slaughtering my family, every day I don't point it out to Timur is another day that evil man has free reign to kill more innocent lives. It really pisses me off that he’s a double-crosser, working both sides of the sword. I never met him, but I'd heard his name. Though, I was told he was giving intel to Victor to help us better ourselves. Not that my uncle would ever have tried to take down the Kuzins. He's wise enough to know better.

"You okay?" Timur asks, wiping his face. I've been pushing my food around my plate for a minute, my appetite so faint, I don't think I could eat another bite.

"I'm okay," I say, smiling. "This place is beautiful."

I've been having a good time at dinner. The last thing I want to do is bring up a problem that would cause tension between us. Victor told me to stay in Timur's good graces, and ratting out his right-hand man wouldn't make me a very popular woman to him.

My goal is to make him believe me and trust me so he'll listen. Of course, that'll be hard to do, considering I've told him I'm a Belova. And if he really believes that, he'll never believe that a Belova would speak up for the Mirov family. They're sworn enemies too, which is why my lie about being a mole in their organization works. It's holding for now, but for how long?

"You don't seem to be enjoying yourself. Is the food bad?"

"It's the company," I say in jest. "He's a total narcissist, only talks about himself." I roll my eyes dramatically and he chuckles.

"Okay, well, what do you want to talk about? You said before we left that you had something to tell me."

Well, there is my opening, but it feels off. I'm being put on the spot without any rehearsed story. I can't just spit out that Victor Mirov thinks his buddy is double-crossing everyone. What would he say to that? I'd have to come clean about not being a Belova and then I'd be landing myself right back where I started.

I've grown comfortable pretending to be a Belova. If he finds out I'm not who I say I am, I'm not just risking my life. I'm breaking his heart too. I see how into this dinner Timur is. That doesn't happen when you dine with a hostage. He likes me. He's been into me for weeks and we've had sex more than once.

And as much as I want to believe I could easily slip out and go back home to my normal life, I don't think I can. He's a part of me now, tangled up in my thoughts and hopes, and I am fallingfor him. I don't want to hurt him. I just want the truth to come out so I can stop fearing for my life. If he can't stand me and wants to kill me, at least I'll know.

"I did, didn't I?" I just don't know how to bridge that gap and open up to him. The mood and timing have to be right.

"You did... so tell me. What's on your mind, Kirianna?" Timur's words sting my heart. That must be her name, the one he thinks I am, whom he has vetted to assure himself that I am a Belova.

My eyes widen and then I force a smile, though I want to vomit. "I was going to tell you your cooking is awful and we should eat out. But you brought me here." I gesture at the spread between us and he laughs.

"That's all?" He sighs. "Sheesh."

I suck in a cleansing breath, knowing right now is not the time. But I do need to find the right time to do so. I just have to keep this strong rapport going. So I slide my hand across the table and lace my fingers through his.

"Honestly, I was going to tell you what a good man you are. I was nervous. I had this whole speech planned and..." I let myself trail off on purpose, feigning the inability to speak clearly, then I look him in the eyes. "I'm falling for you."

That part is the utter truth.

The harsh reality is, I really am falling for him. I just don't think I'm ever going to get what my heart wants.

"That's so..." Timur is brought to silence by my confession. His eyes search my face but he stands, pulling me along with him. I don't know what's gotten into him but we haven't had dessert yet when he starts pulling me toward the side door.

"Where are we going?" I ask him, straggling a few steps behind.

"You'll see," he says, pushing outside into the fresh air.

The door shuts behind us, and he leads me toward the car, where he opens the door and gestures. Then he looks up and down the street as I climb in and scoot over, not sure what he's doing. Dryden isn't around yet, so either Timur is driving us home or he has no intention of going anywhere, and I guess the latter as he slides in behind me, shutting the door.

I grin and he slides across the seat, leaning in to kiss me gently on the lips. I accept his kiss, smiling into it as he pulls back.

"What was that for?" I ask, confused.

"Kira, you're the most incredible woman I've ever met." His words feel like daggers. I may not have been a Belova spy on Mirov territory, but I am definitely a Mirov spy in Kuzin arms. I hate how icky it makes me feel now. Because I really do like him.

"I am?" I ask, getting nervous as he slides his tie off and undoes his belt.

"You are, and I can't wait a single second longer. I need you right now." Timur's hands work his fly open where I see a heavy bulge. He's rock hard and it makes me swallow against a knot forming in my chest. This man is insane with lust, but it's all for me.

"Tim," I start, but he presses a finger to my lips.

"Shh..." His eyes get serious all at once. "If you reject me right now, I might not ever get the courage to tell you how I feel again." His hand slides down my arm, taking my hand in his. He places a kiss on my palm and whispers, "I think I'm falling for you too."