Afore all of this happened, she loved how gentlemanly he was. But now. Now his sense of pride and morals would saddle him down to a life with her that he might not have wanted. And that made her angry. Angry for him and whatever dreams he held that he could no longer pursue. She was the cause of that. Why had she been so foolish to track down his cottage? Mayhap she was deserving of the rumors and gossip that followed her around. She just was late in actually doing something to deem herself worthy of them.
She looked out over the glen, soaking in its beauty. The lush green. The bloom of wildflowers. The patches of Scotch moss. Around her, the forest was alive. Birds flitted from branch to branch, singing their lovely songs as they communicated with one another. Squirrels twittered as they jumped from tree to tree, then dropped to the ground to fill their mouths with chestnuts afore climbing the trees and dropping their treasures in their hollows.
Finally, her tears stopped, leaving her eyes swollen and red. It had been years since she had had such a cry. Not since her grandmother had passed. The thought of her grandmother almost made her cry again, but she didn’t think she had any tears left. She’d cried herself dry. She was unaware of how long it had been since she’d left Torquil’s cottage. Time seemed to have ceased the moment she had sat down. She wondered if he was worried that she would not return? Happy, mayhap?
Nay, she believed he was just as distraught as she was.
Standing up, she brushed the pine needles, grass, and dirt from her backside. The trews she wore were damp, but she didn’t care. She supposed it was time to return to the cottage and face Torquil. Thesun would be setting soon and Fergus would return, expecting an answer.
When she entered the cottage, Torquil pushed his chair from the table, where he had been cradling his head in his hands and stood. He had dressed in a tunic, his feet were still bare.
“Ye’ve returned.” It was a statement, but sounded very much like a question as if he believed she would not.
“Of course.”
For a long moment, they each stood there, not moving. Gazes colliding, mouths pursed with unspoken words. She disliked this feeling that they were suddenly strangers. They had spent so much time getting to ken each other, and suddenly, even after she gave her most precious gift to him, there was this huge chasm betwixt them that she did not ken if they would be able to overcome.
And then he opened his arms and she rushed into them, clinging to his heat, his strength. He squeezed her tight, kissing the top of her head tenderly.
Pulling away slightly so she could look in his eyes, she searched his face for any sign about what his answer might be. Whatever it was, she would accept, but she would give him hers.
“I am fully aware that the current circumstances we find ourselves in arenae aught that we expected. I dinnae ken what yer decision is. Howe’er, I shall tell ye mine. I say we move forward. If ye will have me, I will marry ye.”
Torquil looked at her for a long moment. So long, that she began to fash that mayhap she had been too forward. She began to worry her bottom lip as she watched a myriad of emotions flit across his face.
“I will marry ye, Firebrand.”
Her heart soared at his decision.
“I willnae have yer reputation ruined,” he added.
And it felt like a punch to her gut.
Less than two days.
In less than two days she would be wed. Guilt consumed her. She always imagined her family at her wedding ceremony. A huge clan gathering. A boisterousceilidhwhere she would play her fiddle and she and her husband would dance and celebrate. Not hide in the forest and appear married suddenly because actions they had taken had brought them to this point.
Now, Torquil was being forced to marry her, no matter if he wanted to or not.
She had taken away his choice, and she felt horrible kenning that.
The thought of how angry her ma and da would be at learning what had happened, already had her regretting her return to Hartsmoor. And then there was Alpin. He had been in such a mood since he ended his courtship, he would be impossible to deal with, especially after his warning.
With a sigh, she nodded and stepped away from Torquil, wondering if she could hide here for the rest of her days, staying far away from her troubles, but kenning she couldn’t. Fergus had found her here, her family would as well.
Chapter Fourteen
Torquil wanted tokick himself at the hurt he had inflicted on Eilidh with his final words. That was not how he meant his words to be received, but hindsight told him it would not have been accepted any other way.
Fergus arrived, seeking their answer. Sharply nodding his head at their decision. “Two morns from now, ye shall be married. I will return with the priest.” With a flare of his cloak, he spun on his heel and exited the cottage, leaving both of them stunned with how quickly things were progressing.
Torquil let out the breath he had been holding. He squeezed Eilidh’s shoulder and filled two cups of ale. He handed her one and took his to go sit in front of the hearth. He watched the flames, repeating Eilidh’s acceptance of their fate in his head. Guilt and love warred within him.
He wanted to choose Eilidh. He wanted their union to be their choice. He had wanted to ask her properly in a grand gesture that she would remember for the rest of her days. A romantic story that she could tell their children, and then their grandchildren. He would have written her a song. Instead, she was backed into a corner and the choice of saying aye was taken away from her.
Because in the end, it was not as if she could say nay. There was too much at stake.
He told himself that he agreed out of honor, but the truth was that he would marry her a hundred times over. Their union was always going to be the end result. But that result should not have been forced onto them.
