Finally, he made his way back inside the shelter of the cave. Creeping along quietly, he dared a peek at Alana. She was curled up on her side, hands tucked under her cheek as she slept. She looked so peaceful. So beautiful. What would it be like to wake up to that vision every morn? He longed to find out, even though he shouldn’t.
He stripped out of his soaked clothing and laid them out to dry after changing into a fresh set of clothes. Lying on his blanket, he stared through the flames at Alana’s silhouette. All he wanted to do was lie next to her and soak in her warmth. To let her heat his skin. To set him aflame.
The distance betwixt them was like a curse. It hurt to be so close and not be able to touch her. But without the distance, his resolve would slip. He could feel it slipping now and the end result wouldn’t be aught that either of them would be able to walk away from unscathed.
Chapter Twenty
The following mornAlana did her best to avoid Rory as much as possible. They were continuing their journey and whilst she would love to drag her feet and delay her arrival for longer, she kenned that it was not something that could happen.
She was surprised when Rory entered the cave that morn and declared the trail passable. She had fully intended to have to make camp in the cave for a few days. She was both sad and happy to hear the news. Sad because it meant she was getting closer to her betrothed and happy that she wouldn’t have to be stuck inside the small space with Rory, who made it clear that he did not want to be near her. She ignored the pain that revelation caused in her chest.
Her ankle was still quite sore, but her limp was nearly gone. Her movement was slow, but she pushed forward.
Rory walked ahead of her, stony silence emanating from him.
In her mind, she replayed his words from the night afore. The way he snapped when she warned him not to go outside. She had done that out of caring. She didn’t want him to become ill, but she supposed he saw it as her mothering him and what grown man wants to be mothered?
She grunted as she climbed over a fallen log, its decaying bark dark from the rain. Ants busily slipped under the bark and then out again.
Staring at Rory’s back she couldn’t help but wonder why he waspulling away. Suddenly so, it seemed. They had made such progress in their relationship and now, it was as if the rug she’d been standing on had been pulled from beneath her feet, sending her spiraling to the floor.
They came upon a slippery ledge and Rory paused, waiting for her to catch up, then held out his hand so he could help her over it.
Slipping her hand in his, she tried to ignore the familiar heat that radiated up her arm. Just like it did every other time they touched. But as soon as she was over the ledge, he pulled his hand away, and walked ahead, never meeting her eyes. Not saying a word.
The rejection stung and she wasn’t sure how to handle it.
“The ground doesnae seem as dampened from the rain up here,” she said, trying to initiate a conversation. It was a bad attempt, though, because he only grunted and continued walking.
“How much longer do ye think we have until we arrive?” She asked, thinking he couldn’t really dodge that question.
“Two days, mayhap three,” he answered, his voice clipped as he lengthened his stride to take him further ahead of her.
She sighed. Mayhap it was the weather that had him in such a dour mood. Or mayhap he was tired, she told herself. She was well aware that he had not been sleeping well the past few nights. For various reasons not entirely kenned to her.
Coming to the conclusion that he wasn’t going to engage in any small talk with her, she gave up on trying. Why bother if he was only going to ignore her?
But as they walked on, her heart grew heavy and then heavier with each step. She realized she missed him walking beside her. Talking to her. His rare smile that he kept hidden. His even rarer laughter. All those things combined to make one amazing man and she missed him. Not just his presence—she missed him. The truth settled in her chest like a lead weight. Bringing her down, down, down. If she were in the loch, she would drown from the force of it dragging her to the sandybottom.
She only wanted to hear him laugh again. His deep laugh that sent shivers down her spine in the most delicious of ways. She wanted to feel the rumble of his chest against her skin. She wanted to hear the steady thump, thump, thump of his heart under her cheek.
Her limbs felt heavy and for a moment she felt like she might faint. She paused, watching his form fade into the distance. But she didn’t call out to him. If he didn’t want her near him, she for certs would not force herself upon him. She sat on a large rock nearby and swiped at the tear that rolled down her cheek.
She was acting daft. Why was she crying? For Rory? For a man she could never have because she was promised to another. Sometimes she really disliked the life she lived. The feeling of being a pawn was not something that made someone feel wanted. Quite the opposite, actually, she thought.
A few long moments passed afore Rory appeared in her vision, his brows drawn down in worry.
“Are ye unweel?” He asked, dropping in front of her, concern lacing his voice.
She shook her head.
“Then why have ye stopped?”
“I found myself growing tired and needed a respite.”
He pushed his hands through his hair and then pulled at his neck. “Ye should have called out for me. If I hadnae looked back and noticed, ye would have been abandoned.”
She smiled, but she felt no humor. “’Twould no’ be the first time. Mayhap now ye ken why I was abandoned in the first place.”
