“I fear to say,” she said quietly, her teeth worrying her bottom lip.
“Whitney, may I call ye Whitney?”
She gave a small nod.
“We both found ourselves there, contract in hand, for a reason. I am no’ innocent. I would be willing to bet,” he grimaced at his poor choice of words, “that whate’er ye have done, I have done worse.”
Her eyes slammed into his, the blue deep as the sea. “I cannot believe that.”
“Nay?” He huffed. “Did ye lose your family’s estate? Their livelihood? The very thing that keeps coin in their pockets?” He pushed his hands through his hair. So much for easing into how much of a mess he was. But she was being so hard on herself. And why? He had betrayed his family in every way possible. And when it came time to face the consequences of his horrible actions, he ran. Ran from Millwool Castle. From Edinburgh. Hell, he’d run from Scotland altogether.
Like a coward.
No matter what she said, it surely wasn’t as bad as what he’d done.
“Unless ye have done all those things, which I find verra hard to believe, I dinna think ye should be fashing overmuch.”
“You did all those things?” She asked quietly.
“Aye. My brother was fortunate enough to barter back all I had lost, but it cost him dearly. That’s why I was taking a chance at the den. I was hoping for enough coin to pay my brother back.”
Her blue eyes rounded, understanding dawning. “You have a gambling problem?”
He pushed off the bench and paced the area in front of her, his hand cupping the back of his neck. “Had. ’Twas the reason I came to London, actually. I was looking for that big win.”
“Did you get it?”
Christopher barked out a laugh. “Nay. I most definitely didna. As a matter of fact, the night before I received the Lyon’s Den invitation, I had made the vow that I would no longer gamble. I was done. I would find an honest way to make the money to pay my brother back.”
“But yet, you accepted the invitation.”
He sighed. “I did. I fought a war within myself about it. Once I determined that it wasna a chance I could pass up, I told myself win or lose, it didna matter. ’Twould absolutely be my last gamble. But I also needed to win. When I said it didna matter if I won or lost, ’twas a lie. I needed the victory.”
“You got it. You came out victorious.”
“I did. Just no’ in the way I expected.”
“I am sorry.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Whate’er for?”
She smoothed her palms over the rose-colored material of her gown. “Because you expected to win a treasure, and instead you won a wife. One that you had no idea of going into the game. I apologize for that.”
In an instant, he was in front of her, dropping to his knees, so he could look her in the eyes. He wanted to clear the clouds from them and ease her guilt. Which was misplaced.
“Nay,” he took her hands in his. “My predicament is my own at no fault of ye. I will admit that I was a wee bit surprised when I learned what I had won. Most people when betting dinna expect to win a wife as the prize. It sounds wrong to my ears as I say it aloud.” He laughed, he couldn’t help it. “’Tis absurd if ye think about it, nay? Barbaric even.”
She studied his face, and her lips lifted into a smile and she giggled. “It is silly when you say it like that.”
“See? Dinna fash o’er it, lass. All will be well.” He pushed a loose tendril of hair away that had fallen across her forehead, rubbing the silky strands between his fingers, and fought the urge to lift it to his nose so he could inhale the lavender scent.
Standing, he held out his hand. “Come, let’s walk the grounds and ye can tell me about your home.” What he really wanted to say was to ask her why she was at the Lyon’s Den, but he thought there had been enough revelations made for the time being.
It was a sense of relief that she kenned of his past. Of course, she didn’t have the specifics of it all. But she had the general idea of why he was in London and how he found himself wrapped up in this game.
In due time, he hoped she would trust in him enough to tell him of her past. Truly, it could not be that bad. She was pleasant in all aspects. She was caring, polite. Along with the other attributes he’d noted before, he couldn’t think of a single reason as to why she and her family felt that such desperate actions needed to be taken.
Until then, he would offer her a strong shoulder of support.
