His mouth twitches, but he doesn’t take the bait. “Pip, I know why you don’t want him here.”
“I’m delighted it’s not mysterious.”
“You’re angry.”
“Correct.”
“And you’re tired.”
I look away.
Josh’s voice softens slightly. “And underneath all that, you’re thinking that if he spends two weeks watching you, you’ll have to be flawless.”
I look back at him.
He holds my gaze. Not smug. Not triumphant. Just steady in that deeply annoying way he has, the one that makes it very difficult to pretend he hasn’t just found the bruise.
I want to argue. I just can’t find a version that isn’t fear dressed up as principle.
Josh leans forward, forearms on the desk. “You’re thinking every decision becomes a test. Every pause looks like doubt. Every time you check something twice, he writes it down and calls it hesitation.”
The office feels smaller than it did a minute ago.
I hate that he knows.
I hate more that I do not have a clean denial ready.
Because yes.
That is exactly it.
Anger is easier. Anger lets me stand in this office and talk about bad journalism, careless framing and the fact Hodgson can learn from a poster if he’s that desperate.
Fear is different.
Fear is standing in front of my own crew, doing the job I know I can do, while a man with a notebook watches me through the lens of the article he already wrote. Fear is wondering whether one wrong word, one bad call, one moment where I’m human instead of perfect, becomes proof for everyone who already wanted to doubt me.
Josh waits.
Which is unfair.
He knows silence makes people honest.
“I can’t spend two weeks performing competence for him,” I say eventually.
His expression doesn’t change, but something in his eyes softens. “Then don’t.”
I laugh once. “Helpful.”
“I mean it.” He sits back. “Don’t perform. Do the job.”
“That sounds lovely on a mug.”
This time he does smile, but only briefly. “Pip, you’re not here because you’re perfect. You’re here because you’re good. There’s a difference.”
I look down at the floor.
He continues, quieter now. “Perfect is brittle. Good holds under pressure.”
