“Almost nothing.”
His smile persists. “She’s good people.”
“I can tell.”
“But don’t forget that you just met her yesterday.”
The warning in his eyes is gentle, but it’s there. I could tell him how far gone I already am, but it would sound insane out loud. It sounds insane inside my own skull too, but that doesn’t make it less true.
A knock comes at the door, and the planner pokes her head in. “Gentlemen, it’s time.”
Noah lets out a breath, and the room shifts around him. Men straighten. Jokes fade. Someone hands him his jacket, and I step behind him to tug the fabric into place at his shoulders. He looks at me in the mirror, and for one moment we’re back on the mountain with a woodstove burning low and too much life already behind us.
“You ready?” I ask.
“Yeah,” he says. “I am.”
“Then let’s go.”
The ceremony space is full when we take our places near the arch. Sunlight sits bright on the water, and a breeze moves through the flowers fastened to the chairs. I stand beside Noah with the rings in my pocket and tell myself to look at the guests, the officiant, the ocean, anything except the aisle.
Then Rosalyn steps into view.
Fuck me.
Her dress is fitted to every curve that kept me awake half the night. The fabric moves around her legs as she walks, and her bouquet rests against the full swell of her breasts. Her hair fallsaround her shoulders today, wavy and relaxed, and when her eyes find mine, the entire damn wedding disappears.
She smiles at me. I don’t know what my face does in return, but whatever it is makes her cheeks warm before she looks away and continues down the aisle. She takes her place opposite me, close enough that I can see her fingers tighten around the stems in her hand. Close enough that I can remember those fingers clutching my shirt while I kissed her in the dark.
The music changes. Everyone turns. Mindy walks toward Noah, and I force myself to focus because my brother deserves that. He looks at her as if the whole world has gone silent, and when she reaches him, his hand trembles slightly around hers. I’ve seen Noah scared, angry, exhausted, and too stubborn for his own good. I’ve never seen him this open.
The officiant starts talking. I hear enough to know when to hand over the rings. I hear Noah’s voice crack once and Mindy laugh through tears. I see Rosalyn watching them with wet eyes and a smile that makes my chest ache. Then her gaze flicks to me again, and a dangerous thought takes root.
I see her in white.
I see her walking toward me, not standing across from me for someone else. I see my ring on her finger. I see her in my cabin, barefoot in my kitchen, curled in my bed, laughing on my porch while the mountain rises around us. I see years where I have no right to see them.
It’s fucking crazy. I know that. I’m standing at my brother’s wedding, fantasizing about marrying a woman I met yesterday.
When Rosalyn looks at me through the ceremony flowers, something in her expression goes subtly startled, as if she can feel the shape of my thoughts from across the aisle.
Noah kisses Mindy, and everyone cheers.
The rest of the day moves around me in pieces. Pictures on the beach. A cocktail hour where I keep Rosalyn in view whilerelatives pull us in separate directions. Dinner under warm lights, speeches, applause, plates cleared, glasses filled. I do what I’m told. I stand where I’m placed. I say the things expected of me, including an extremely short best man speech that makes Noah laugh and Mindy cry and gets me out of public speaking before I do permanent damage to the mood.
By the time music fills the reception, I’m done pretending I’m watching anything except Rosalyn.
She dances with Mindy first, then with a cluster of bridesmaids, her body moving easily in the soft sweep of her blue dress. Her smile comes freely, and every time she laughs, I feel it under my ribs. I don’t dance. I don’t belong in the middle of that crowd with lights moving over the floor and everyone clapping along. But I can stand at the edge with a drink I haven’t touched and watch Rosalyn be happy.
Then the music slows.
Couples draw together. Noah takes Mindy into his arms. Rosalyn steps back, watching the couples with a longing she probably doesn’t mean to show. It hits me hard, right in the center of my chest.
Fuck.
I set down my drink and go to her.Her eyes widen as I step in front of her. “Barrett?”
“Come on.”
