Allaston looked at him, defiantly. “I saw the army to the east,” she said. “You know it is my father. I was going to warn him off. I do not want him coming near this place for obvious reasons.”
Bretton gazed steadily at her. He hadn’t slept all night, either, trapped in a world that was tearing itself apart, an engrained hatred against a love that consumed him. He’d been fighting with himself every hour of the night, trying to determine if he was doing the right thing by maintaining the hatred that had kept him alive all these years. Would he be a traitor to himself if he gave in to Allaston’s love? God only knew how happy he could be with her. But how happy could he be if her father was still alive, reminding him of his discarded vengeance at every turn? More than that, would he end up resenting Allaston because she had taken away that which had kept him alive? He couldonly wonder. Gazing into her lovely face now in the soft light of morning, he could feel himself starting to weaken.
“We are not certain it is him,” he said quietly.
Allaston scowled. “Of course it is him,” she said. “You sent him a missive telling him to come to Cloryn Castle and, more than that, you told de Lohr the same thing when the earl tried to intervene. Of course it is my father– who else could it be?”
She was correct and he knew it. Of course it was de Velt, and de Lohr was more than likely with him. Reaching out, Bretton tried to grasp her arm but she pulled away from him, unwilling to let him touch her. A look of genuine pain crossed his features.
“Please go back to your chamber,” he said. “I am asking you politely to do this. If you refuse, I will put you in the vault until this is over. Is that clear?”
Allaston’s first reaction was to run from him, but he would only catch her. She knew that. Her rebellion turned to sadness, and sadness to pain. She struggled against the tears that were already threatening.
“Will you please tell me what you are planning to do?” she asked. “Please, Bretton. This day will see me lose one man that I love dearly and I would like to know what you are planning, I beg you.”
He was in no mood to argue with her but on the other hand, he couldn’t quite seem to make her go.
“Much depends on your father,” he said. “My actions will be dictated by his.”
“He will want me returned,” Allaston said. “Will you show him that I am in good health? Will you at least let me speak with him?”
Bretton didn’t think that was a particularly good idea but he was curious about it. “What would you say to him?”
Allaston thought on that a moment. “More than likely the same thing I would say to you,” she said quietly. “I would tell him that I love him and I am sorry it has come to this.”
Somewhere overhead, the sentries sounded out a cry that the army was drawing closer and Bretton acknowledged it with the wave of a hand. But his attention was on Allaston. With a gentle sigh, he reached out, taking her hand. Feeling her soft, warm fingers in his grasp nearly undid him.
“I could not sleep last night for thoughts of you,” he murmured. “No matter what this day brings, Allaston, please know that I love you deeply. I always will. I have never loved anything in my life as I have loved you.”
She wanted so badly to believe him but she knew it wasn’t true. She pulled her fingers away from him.
“You do not love me more than you love your sense of vengeance,” she said. “I wish it was true that you loved me more than anything, but it is not.”
“I am sorry you feel that way.”
“So am I.”
They simply stood there and stared at each other, thoughts and emotions as tangible as rain filling the air between them. It was a painful moment, one that perhaps made them realize that they were two individuals with two destinies rather than two individuals with one destiny, a destiny of marriage and love and a future. Allaston couldn’t stand the tension or the agony and eventually lowered her gaze.
“Will you please let me speak to my father?” she asked. “If you are going to kill him, then at least let me say what I will to him. Do not deny me what my father denied you. Let me speak to my father one last time.”
He couldn’t refuse her. “Very well,” he said, sounding dull and defeated. “When it is over, I would expect to turn you over to de Lohr. He will ensure that you are returned to your mother.”
Allaston was so full of anguish that it was difficult for her to think straight. To face losing her father, and losing Bretton, was more than she could appropriately deal with.
“If… if you kill my father, then I will be taking his body with me,” she said, her throat tight with tears. “I will not return home without him.”
“Agreed.”
“But if you should die, Bretton,” she turned to look at him, tears in her eyes, “I will not leave here without you, either. I will make sure you have a proper burial, someplace that I can visit, if only in my dreams. I will make sure that, at the end of your life, you are treated with the dignity and respect you were denied while you were living.”
Her words stunned him, touched him, as he had never been touched before. He’d never heard anything more gracious. “Why would you do this?” he asked, perplexed. “I have killed people and left them to rot. I have not treated the dead with any dignity whatsoever. Why would you treat me with dignity after death when it is not deserved?”
Her tears spilled over. “Because I love you,” she said. “That is reason enough.”
Bretton didn’t think it was possible for him to feel worse than he already did, but he was wrong. Peering into Allaston’s beautiful eyes, he felt cruel and shallow, wicked and shattered… all of those things he had felt when he realized she deserved someone better than him, he was feeling them again, more strongly than before.
“This will more than likely be the last time you and I will have the opportunity to speak to one another, privately,” he said softly. “I want you to know that… that the day I abducted you from Alberbury was the day my life changed forever, only I did not know it at the time. You have shown me life and love and beauty, Allaston, such things as I had forgotten to exist. I praythat, in the future, no matter how this day turns out, that when you think of me, there is a measure of kindness in your heart towards me. Forgive me for not being the strong, virtuous knight you deserve. If I could be that man for you, please know that I would be. But my path is set and my world is dark. As I told you before, I do not want to pull you into that world. I love you enough to know that I must set you free.”
