‘About what?’
‘Don’t play dumb, Jamie.About you and Luke.About everything.’
I cross my arms.‘He kissed me.It didn’t mean anything.’
He laughs again, angrier this time.‘You’re unbelievable.’
‘I’m telling you the truth.’
‘No, you’re telling meyourtruth.The one where none of this is your fault.Where everyone else is confused and you’re – what?’
‘That’s not fair.’
‘What’s not fair is flying all this way with me when you’re in love with someone else.’
‘I’m not in love—’
‘Why were you in the kitchen?’
Shit.‘I was hungry.’Dylan drags a hand over his face.I try again.‘You’re real.We fit together.You’re everything I’m supposed to want.’
‘Supposed to,’ he echoes, quiet now.‘But not what youdowant.’
‘I can – look, I can fix this.’I take a step forward, leaning in and kissing him.He doesn’t kiss me back.Instead, he steps away like I’ve burned him.
‘I need to go for a walk,’ he says, and then he’s gone.
I sink onto the edge of the bed.The air is thick with shame and self-loathing.Eventually, I step outside, barefoot and tired, in search of anything that feels less hollow than my own ego.
The stars are starting to peek through the dusk, and as I glimpse the first star in the sky, I can’t help but think of it as Luke’s mum.
‘There you are.’
Ella’s walking over, one hand on her bump, the other on her lower back as if she’s holding herself together with nothing but sheer willpower and prenatal vitamins.
I manage a smile.‘It was a great party.’
Ella sinks down beside me on the steps with a soft grunt.‘I reckon it’ll be a boy.’
‘What makes you so sure?’
She shrugs.‘Just a feeling.’
We fall into a quiet lull.The air buzzes with crickets and distant laughter.Then, softly, Ella says, ‘Luke left.’
I pick at the edge of my sleeve.‘Figures.’
Ella turns to look at me.‘What’s going on with you two?’
‘Nothing,’ I say too quickly.
The distant glimmer of a satellite passes overhead.Then, carefully, she says, ‘You know I love you.’
I smile faintly.‘I feel like there’s abutcoming.’
‘And I’ll always have your back.You know that.But if you break Luke’s heart, I won’t be happy.’
I bark a laugh and give her a half-hearted salute.‘Yes, Mum.’
