‘Fine,’ I mutter.‘I’ll patch things up.’
‘And while you’re at it,’ Abbey adds, ‘what are you doing to make up for bailing on pottery night?’
Issy lifts a brow.‘Oh, I’ve always wanted to do pottery.’
‘I’ll think of something,’ I say, waving a hand in the air.
Abbey doesn’t look convinced.‘You better.’
Her phone pings, and she drains the last of her coffee.‘Pilates in ten.Try not to self-destruct while I’m gone.’
She’s gone before I can flip her off, vanishing into the late morning foot traffic like a well-dressed hurricane.
Issy sips her coffee in thoughtful silence.I nurse the last of mine, the caffeine doing absolutely nothing for the hangover of feelings I didn’t mean to say out loud.
Issy shifts beside me, opens her mouth to say something, but then a high-pitched scream slices through the morning.
We both snap our heads towards the park.
Billie is crumpled in the dirt beneath the swing set, wailing.Gemma hovers nearby, wide-eyed and guilty.
‘Shit,’ Issy mutters, already standing.She grabs her bag, slings it over her shoulder.‘I’ll call you later, okay?’
And then, she’s gone too – running in mum-mode across the grass, while I sit back and watch the world resume its chaos.And me, still sitting in the middle of mine.
Back at home, I stare at my phone like it’s a loaded weapon.Which, to be fair, it kind of is.I scroll past a bunch of unread texts.A few from Tom.One from Mum with a blurry photo of a bird she saw on her walk.She was probably drunk.Or maybe it’s a metaphor.
I ignore both of them and find Ella’s number, hitting call before I can stop myself.
‘Jamie?’
Her voice is sharper than usual.Worn down at the edges.I hear a baby gurgling in the background and a toy that sounds closer to a dying animal.
‘Hi,’ I say.‘How are you going?How’s Daisy?’
‘We’re good,’ Ella replies, her patience clearly running low.
‘Is she feeding well?’
‘Yep.’
‘Any more cute baby photos to share?’
‘I’ll send you some later.’
I loosen a breath.‘I know I’m the last person you want to hear from.’
‘You’re not wrong.’
‘I’m sorry,’ I say quickly.‘I messed up.I was selfish and scared and so determined not to turn into Mum that I … did it anyway.I did exactly what I was trying to avoid.I hurt Luke.I hurt you.I hurt myself, actually.A lot.’
Ella’s quiet for a beat.Somewhere in the background Ms Rachel starts singing about numbers.
‘You done?’
‘Almost.I’m done lying, El.I know what I did was wrong.I’m trying to be better.Honesty from here on out.’
Ella exhales.‘Good.’
