My chest tightens.‘I don’t want kids,’ I say again.‘Ever.’
He nods once, slowly.‘Okay.’
I narrow my eyes.‘That’s it?’
‘What else am I supposed to say?’
I laugh.‘I don’t know.Try to convince me otherwise?Get disappointed?Storm out dramatically?’
He leans forward, elbows on the table.‘It’s not a dealbreaker.’‘You say that now.’
‘I mean it.’
‘You’ll change your mind.’
‘I doubt it.’
‘You’re an only child.’
‘And?’
‘Don’t you want to pass on your name?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘And what about this place?You’ll have no one to give it to.’
‘I’d be doing them a favour.’
I stare at him for a beat too long.‘So, you’d be fine if I booked a hysterectomy tomorrow?’
He blinks.‘What?’
‘I’m serious.’
Luke frowns, trying to find the trap in the question.‘Where’s this coming from?’
‘Well, we’ll need to have this conversation at some point.’
‘Sure,’ he says, still attempting to keep his voice even.‘But I figured it was more of a way-down-the-track conversation.’
‘No.’I sit up straighter.My palms are starting to sweat.‘This is a conversation to havenow.Before the stakes get higher.Before someone ends up heartbroken.’
‘You mean, before you run away?’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
Luke sighs, frustrated.‘Can’t we talk about this later?’
‘No.’I keep pushing.‘The thought must’ve crossed your mind when you found out I was pregnant.’
His jaw tightens.That’s the hit.‘Yeah.Of course it did.But I didn’t have the chance then to think it through, considering you never told me in the first place.’
I flinch.
There it is again.
The spiral.It creeps in slowly; I feel it in the tightness of my throat, in the way my body tenses waiting for impact.
