Rowan laughed, breathless. “I did, too.”
They sat out there awhile, legs dangling over their boards, the gentle rise and fall beneath them steady as a heartbeat. Lea nudged her shoulder with her own. “Whatever’s going on in that head of yours? Bring it out here. The ocean can take it.”
Rowan looked out at the horizon, at the next set forming—clean, certain, coming straight for her.
“Yeah,” she said softly. “I think it already has.”
After a few good sets, they collapsed on the sand and watched the other surfers. “Are Everett and Kelsey coming to the board blessing later?”
Rowan smiled. Tino had arranged a formal blessing of her new board, a tradition for most of the boards he created and shaped for his clientele. Since her father’s stringer had been repurposed, and his memory was part of the process, the ceremony was extra special. “Yes, but I told Everett it was okay if he couldn’t make it. The Purity opening is end of this week.”
“Wow, that came fast.” Lea eyed her in the way only old friends could. “Why does it feel like there’s something going on with you? Ocean or boys?”
Amusement warred with despair. “Funny, I asked Kelsey the same thing when she was upset. Mine, unfortunately, is a boy.”
“Bastard. Did he dump you because he’s going back?”
A laugh escaped her lips, but it sounded more like tears. “No. He actually declared his love and asked me to go back to New York to live with him and his daughter.”
“No fucking way.” Lea’s eyes widened. “Are you that good in bed?”
She shot her a look. “Funny. I’m serious, Lea. I’m kind of freaking out.”
“Because you love him, too.”
Slowly, Rowan nodded. Her chest hurt. “Yeah. Damn suit stole my heart when I wasn’t even looking. I can’t imagine being without him.And Kelsey is the most amazing kid. Being with her would be a dream. Getting to be a mom. But ...”
Lea sighed. “Your home is here.”
“My home is here.”
“Fuuuuck.”
“Even worse? He didn’taskme. He just made this big-ass announcement that he wants me to come to New York, kissed me, and left. It was like I got trapped in a rom-com I didn’t want to watch. He literally assumed I’d be happy to give everything up to chase him to New York.”
Lea winced. “Does he know you at all? How bad did you hurt him?”
A half laugh escaped. “I was in shock, so he’s still intact. For now.”
They both fell into silence, caught up in their thoughts. The waves roared. Laughter floated in the breeze. The sun slipped from behind a cloud and scorched her skin. She half closed her eyes and pictured not having this—the place where her very heart beat and her soul sighed.
“Lea? Don’t people do things like that, though? Move away for someone they love? For the bigger compromise?”
Her friend’s voice hardened. “Okay, I’m going to be real here. You go to New York and it’s a honeymoon for a bit. Is he still in a job that owns him?”
“Yep, even worse. He’s close to a promotion that’s more hours and travel.”
“And while he has that, what do you have besides Kelsey?”
She nibbled her lip. “He said I can decorate a new place. Do anything I want.” Her voice edged. “I don’t have to work because he has money.”
Lea shook her head. “Hell to the no! Doesn’t sound like a setup that will make you happy. This has nothing to do with how much you love each other, or how great Kelsey is. You have salt water in your veins, Ro. You will be miserable in the city. Maybe not at first, but when things blow up and you’re alone, it’ll be far worse—because you may not be able to leave.”
Lea was right. She’d known it from the first. Everett’s declaration was all abouthisneeds. He could go back to being the man he was when he arrived, because she’d be there to hold it all together.
Oh, she believed he loved her. But not the way she needed. Once again, he wanted to fix the problem and make everything neat and tidy. On his terms.
“You’re right,” she whispered. “Oh God, this sucks.”
