3 Kimber
Instead of learning any lessons, I’ve come to S&S the last four nights seeking companionship I haven’t yet found. The club utilizes lanyards with badges to help people identify if their desired kinks would align, like Dominant and submissives and Masters and slaves.
Yesterday, I swapped my slave lanyard for a submissive one, just to test the waters. When Serenity helped me with that she didn’t even blink, but most of the longtime members have side-eyed me since then.
I fiddle with the lanyard around my neck and try to not feel woozy. I pregamed again, something I can’t admit to anyone, and the nausea is working its way through my whole body. I don’t know if it’s just the alcohol, or if it’s the uncertainty about changing my kinks.
I always thought I wanted a complete power-exchange, a way to relinquish control to someone in every manner of the word. It’s what drew me to the lifestyle, and I’ve struggled to find a Master who shares the same desires that I do.
So… I thought maybe switching to submission would be a smart choice, but I haven’t found anyone who captures my attention the way I want. Full submission feels like too much after -
“I always wanted a housewife. We’ll get you trained.”
Someone touches my shoulder, and I panic and smack it away. It’s a guy wearing the corresponding lanyard color to mine, red to maroon, and he gives me a wide eyed look.
Blinking, I lick my lips and try to straighten out. Yeah, the liquor is betraying me tonight. My memories and my present-day blur together when I drink, but I can’t seem to function without it.
Ducking my head, I show my submissive side. It’s part of the club experience, leaning into the roles the BDSM lifestyle brings in a safe environment. I don’t even look at the guy to see exactly who I’m talking to, because I doubt I’ll remember talking to him in the morning. “Sorry. Off night. Perhaps another time, Sir.”
He scoffs, then clears his throat like he didn’t mean to do that. “Uh, right. Just checking on you, Miss.”
The only thing I really pick up on is his cane, and I almost look up. Who uses a cane here? I didn’t pay a lot of attention to him, but I’m suddenly mildly curious about who he was as he walks off.
Oh, well.Spinning on my heel, I catch myself against the bar. I’m not entirely sure who I plan on announcing this to, but I’m going to announce it anyway. I’m off my game. “I'm gonna call-shit a night.”
Whoops. Too drunk.
Callie glances up from behind the bar to eye me, some of her blond hair spilling into her eyes. She's been off the clock for three hours but of course, when I'm at my worst, there's someone around to see. She should be with Nate, but he’s helping a new couple out at the moment while she waits for him so they can go play. Squinting her eyes, she leans closer to me. “Are you drunk?”
I scoff, and it sounds too exaggerated even to me. I shouldn’t be here at Sins and Secrets when I’m past my two-drink limit, and I wasn’t careful about pacing myself. I got one of my coworkers to start me off for the evening, letting Nate give me the second pretty soon after.
Waiting as long as I could didn’t work out. The more people that came in, the more people that I saw, the worse I felt. I can’t even get through a few hours anymore without giving into the need to drink, and when my hands shake as I grip the bartop I know I’m SOL.
Choosing to catch a ride here was a good choice, even if the driver gave me a weird look for the address. It’ll probably be more or less the same when I leave, but at least I’m not drinking and driving.
Tapping catches my attention, and Callie is glaring at me now. She shifts behind the bar, and I lick my lips. “M-fine.”
“Really?” she asks dryly, cocking her head as she watches me. “I get that you’re messy sometimes, Kimber, and good on you for letting loose. But if you’re drunk… you have to leave. Everyone has to be sober enough to consent while at the club.”
Fuck.I hoped I could pass off the fact that I’m drunk. I’ve been drinking more often, so my tolerance should be higher. I still get drunk kind of easily, and if Callie thinks I’m drunk she can have security escort me out.
If it’s one of the guards that I know, and I knowa lotof them at this point, they could offer to drive me home. That’s not something I need.
Dragging my eyes from Callie, I look around. There’s new people here, a lot of newbies sporting green lanyards, and more people who recently signed on with the club. It’s crowded tonight. Crowded enough I know that anything I do might draw an audience.
Blonde hair gets in my way, and it’s Callie again. She gives me a worried look and loops her arm through my elbow.“Sorry, girl. Drunk means you’re done for the night. Let’s find your things. I can drive you while Nate’s still busy-”
“That’s oh-kay! Don’t trouble yourself Callie, I can get a ride.” She shoots me a look as she drags me back across the club. There’s a check-in for people to leave personal items like phones and coats, and I spot another guard sitting at the front desk area.
“Tyler,” Callie says, and the guy peers up at us over his glasses. “Kim here is done for the night. Do you have a ride, Kimber? Since it sounds like you don’t want me driving you home, why don’t you call for one?”
Oh god, she’s talking a lot. Every time I open my mouth I just sound drunk and unfortunately, I don’t know Tyler well. I don’t know if he could potentially scratch the itch I have, or if he’s totally off the table for me.
That’s… wow, my thoughts really aren’t helping me here.
“Is… that a yes?” Tyler asks, and I glance at him again. I guess they were waiting for me.
“I can call a ride,” I say, shooting both of them a grin. “Just need my phone!”
