Holy fuck, did he want to try. Takashi was interested in Zack—not Roger, then Zack or Zack on the way to Roger. He hadn’t withdrawn or scrunched up his face when he saw Zack naked in the past. Just now, he’d comforted him and been there for him because they were boyfriends. And Zack could fuck his boyfriend. Especially since his boyfriend had dared him to.
Yeah. Yeah. Igotthis.
He’d donned a pair of black flannel pajamas for bed, and his tears had soaked into the collar of it. That was unattractive. He pulled the shirt off and dropped it into the hamper. Then he wiped up the bloody tear trail that had crept down and dried on his chest. After a second’s hesitation, he shucked off his pajama pants, leaving just his black briefs on.
The only thing Zack wished he had was the necklace Takashi had given him for his birthday. He’d been wearing the white-gold dagger necklace in his last mortal fight. Did Seamus have it? It hadn’t snapped off in the fight, had it?
A matter Zack would solve later. He grabbed a fresh washcloth, soaked it in warm water, wrung out a bulk of the moisture, and then opened the door to the bedroom.
Takashi sat on the end of the bed, completely naked. The sheer cockiness of his smile was turning Zack on as much as his lean gymnast’s muscular tone. He’d raked his fingers through his black hair to resettle it, and he was propping himself up with his arms as he leaned backward.
He was putting on a show, trying for sexy. Hewassexy, but that silent insecurity Zack had noticed in him at other times was written on the page Zack could read in his mind. The older, gorgeous, world-traveled ambassador was still nervous that Zack might not like what he saw.
I am going to blow his mind. Zack straightened his shoulders, lifted his chin just a little, and strode across the room toward him.
“I did find a cabinet in your closet.” Takashi glanced down at the array of items on the bed beside him. “I pulled out a few things.”
The wide butt plug caught Zack’s attention first. A flicker of self-doubt crossed his mind. Wasn’t his own body enough to make Takashi come?Well, duh. But this stuff could be fun. Alongside it was a roll of bondage tape, a set of leather cuffs, an adjustable chest harness, a blindfold, two different lubes, and a studded paddle. Zack thought the studs were stainless steel, but he ran his finger across one and hissed as it burned him. Silver.
Zack had had long summer days waiting for something to research and a whole empty house he was trying to forget about, so he’d spent an inordinate amount of time on porn. It helped him explore some of his cravings. His urges weren’t always vanilla. He’d gone down more than a few rabbit holes of BDSM sites, particularly featuring vampires and other supernaturals. He’d seen all these toys in action but never used them.
The Cal voice started to speak up. It was forming some kind of insult.
But Takashi wouldn’t have brought any of this out if he thought Zack couldn’t handle using them.
Takashi slid forward, and his leg brushed against Zack’s. “If it’s too much?—”
“Wrapping my head around it,” Zack murmured. He ran his finger between the studs on the paddle. “You want me to dominate you.”
“Only if you’d like to,” Takashi said softly.
Takashi’s tiny flicker of the fear of rejection grew.I wonder how deep it goes. Did that mortal boy who broke his heart cause it?Zack met Takashi’s gaze and brushed his thumb overhis lips. He could fall into the grooves of that fear and chase it downward. He could find its source. Find out how much it really did shake and shape Takashi.
Takashi closed his eyes. “I can feel you pushing.”
“I’m exploring my new ability. Sorry if I went too deep. I’m trying not to.” A vampire’s abilities were a kind of magic. The principles had to be the same. Belief and willpower were the crux of using them, and they’d be the cornerstone of controlling them. So he pulled back his mental image of delving into a groove until he was tracing the shape of a word on paper again. “Is that better?”
“Much,” Takashi sighed. He nodded at the toys on the bed. “You could experiment with that power while using these.”
“How?”
“Here.” Takashi took Zack’s hand and pressed it to his chest, over his heart.
Reading the page became easier. Some of his desires were written in large block letters but in marker, so they had no real depth to them. The writing wasn’t exactly words or images, at least not yet.
“Many emotions come down to a twist of fear or desire. Understanding the intricacies of how they interact takes practice,” Takashi said.
“All magic does,” Zack whispered.
“Yes.”
The ink and writing were living things, moving and slithering. They had an impression to them, and that gave them substance.Like grains of sand becoming a river. Zack frowned. “But I hardly know what any of these mean.”
“Because you’re young. Your mind will have an easier time correlating what it’s sensing with emotions you’re familiar with.”
“So if you had the desire to crawl into a hole and never see anyone ever again, I’d be able to grasp that,” Zack joked.
“Don’t stress on figuring out the specifics. Start with the basics.” Takashi laid his hand over Zack’s. “Call me the most humiliating thing you could think of.”
