“Think of it like cola. A bubble, a fizz, but really nothing gained.”
“Okay, but I practically lived on that shit.”
“You enjoyed the sugar.” Takashi chuckled. “You didn’tlivebecause of it.”
“I don’t know. Life gets pretty boring without sugar.” Zack pulled Takashi’s bottom lip between his teeth. He intended to lightly graze a fang against his tender flesh, but he went deeper. A small trickle of blood welled upward. An apology rose to Zack’s tongue as he began to pull away, but the scent of blood fanned the burning hunger in his core. He licked Takashi’s lip. The bit of blood wasn’t enough. Didn’t ease the hunger.I need more.
Takashi put his hand on Zack’s chest and shoved him. Zack stumbled backward three steps.
How dare he, a new voice in Zack’s mind declared. It sounded like Seamus.
That voice couldn’t be trusted, and yet, there was something right about it. Zackneededblood, and Takashi had it. He narrowed his eyes and rushed toward him, even as the rational part of his mind cried out for him to stop. Logic was a burden when the thirst was carving itself through his soul.
He rushed toward his prey. Takashi started to move, started to use that vampire speed to match what Zack had done. But he was too slow. Zack closed the distance and wrapped his hand around Takashi’s throat. He slammed Takashi up against the wall, and the surface cracked. Bones snapped, too, and somedistant part of Zack screamed. He growled to shove it further away and opened his mouth, readying to sink his fangs into flesh.
The screaming part of his mind grew louder and louder still, as if someone had shoved a microphone into its hands and continued cranking the volume.I can’t lose him. I can’t hurt him. I need him. He’s going to leave me. He’s going to hate me. Everyone’s going to hate me. The strength of that voice wasn’t natural, not anymore, but Zack couldn’t purge it. He staggered away and put a hand to his head. The climbing fear broke through, and logic put itself back in the forefront.
“I’m sorry,” Takashi said softly. “You were going into a frenzy. I had to break it.”
“Oh.” With his mind precariously balancing, the impact of what Zack had done finally hit him. “Shit. Fuck. Are you okay? I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to?—”
“It’s all right.” Takashi stepped away from the wall and smoothed his hair.
But there was a small pop-up coming from him. Zack hovered over it and could see the shape of Takashi’s new fear. His voice broke as he said, “You’re scared of me?”
“That’s reflexive.” Takashi raised his gaze to meet Zack’s, and the pop-up window shrank. “I should have been faster than you.”
Was Takashi scared of him because there was something wrong with him? Or because of the near miss on the blood frenzy? Zack couldn’t have killed Takashi by drinking his blood, but it wouldn’t have been pleasant.And what if I hadn’t just drunk his blood? Feeding frenzy vamps are dangerous and unpredictable. I’vegotto keep control. Especially if he was strong. He’d been nearly as quick as Seamus at the graveyard, and now he had outpaced Takashi without trying.
No, nothing was wrong with him. “Maybe it’s the blood they’ve been feeding you. Maybe it’s made you weaker.”
“It’s the nature ofyou. Do you understand how a vampire is made?”
Zack rolled his eyes. “Seriously?”
“You know the mechanics, of course. But what about the metaphysics?” Takashi asked.
Zack started to bite his lower lip but felt his fangs and stopped. No wonder vampires practiced stilling their motions. The wrong one was too freaking destructive. “A vampire drains their victim, then offers their blood. It forms a connection between the sire and sireling because essentially, the vampire plants like a runner vine in the new vampire. The bond between sire and sireling fades when the magic in the new vamp finally has its own roots.”
“That is a more practical understanding. We are talking of magic. The reality is a little more … well, come here.” Takashi sat on the lip of the tub and turned on the water until it was pouring in. “Imagine the tub already full of hot water. It’s all the way to the rim, slipping over the edges now and then. That’s the spirit of a mortal creature. We vampires feed on blood, but we also?—”
“Use the blood to drink from the spirit,” Zack said. “It’s why you and Roger never had to have much of my blood once we really got together. Our connections were deeper, so while you still needed the blood for access, you didn’t need as much of it.”
“It’s also why overfeeding from any source tends to make them lifeless, not just bloodless,” Takashi said. “You can steal what brings a person joy by draining away their passions until the very essence of it is gone from their soul. It’s what we feed on.”
“So much for not feeling like a monster,” Zack grumbled.
Lightning-quick, Takashi took his hand. A flash of wanting to soothe popped into Zack’s mind. “The more aware you are, themore control you can exhibit. Passion has its own wellspring in a healthy spirit. And you can take care of your pets and nurture their passions, help them grow.”
“Passion’s like a jet in a hot tub, and I got to make sure it doesn’t break,” Zack said.
“Exactly.” Takashi turned off the tub. About six inches of water were in it. “If I were being thorough, I’d fill this whole thing to make my point. But think of when we feed like reaching in and unplugging the tub. We drain what we need, and if we’re not careful, let the whole tub loose. When we make another vampire, we go as close to empty as we dare. The sire then offers their blood, giving that connection to their spirit and putting their magic in place of the drained spirit. You have to be willing togive, and the sireling has to be willing totake. In most cases, the relation winds up about this much of the tub—pretend it’s cold water instead of hot here. This burst of cold brings down the ‘temperature’ of the remaining spirit, making the person a vampire, and over time, death and the growth of the vampiric magic continues cooling the spirit out and finishes refilling the tub.”
Zack shifted his weight from one foot to the other. He had a bad feeling he knew where this was going.None of my sirelings have ever drawn from me like you did, Seamus had said. “You think Seamus offered me more than usual?”
“He offered, and you took—and I find no fault in that, Zack.” Takashi turned on the water. “You had the opportunity to know what was happening to you, which helped you.”
Slowly, Zack joined Takashi and sat on the lip of the tub. Takashi was staring down at the water. “How’d you become a vampire?”
