What would he do if he knew what Zack had been up to? What was he hoping to find in the library? The answer to how to unlink them had to be there, somewhere.
Don’t make me make you come down here,Seamus said.
Sadness burst into fury because that was far more useful an emotion. Zack sprang from the bed and, using the magnetic pull to Seamus, rushed through the mansion to find him sitting on that obnoxious patio. He had a bottle of wine and two freaking wineglasses again. Despite the snow on the ground beyond the patio, Seamus was dressed like he expected to go to a Sunday brunch any minute. He had a light blue polo on and gray slacks, none of the material designed for winter weather. Beside his chair was Zack’s old backpack.
Zack was only in his sleep pants, but the cold January wind didn’t bother him. He clenched his fists. “Here. I showed up. Can I go to bed now?”
“I’m your father, Zackery,” Seamus said, empathy flowing in his voice. “I wish you would talk to me.”
With a glare, Zack fell back on his abilities and sought what Seamus was actually feeling. Rather than the journal-like visualization he’d stumbled into more and more frequently, all he read from Seamus was like computer pop-ups. The word and flare of wanting to care for Zack was there, but it didn’t have the substance that Takashi’s wants had.
“I’ve seen what you are capable of doing to your ‘loved’ ones,” Zack said coldly. “Anton may act like nothing’s happened, but I will not forget.”
A flicker of regret crossed Seamus’s face as he tightened, but then he relaxed. Calmly, he opened the bottle of wine and poured two glasses. “I believed that the love of my life of over eight hundred years had betrayed me. I lost my temper.”
Zack folded his arms over his chest. If he couldn’t trust Nell, then there was no fucking way he could trust Seamus.But he sounded so proud of me in that journal entry …
The monster wants you to be a monster,the Cal voice said.Why are you so determined to make that a good thing?
After taking a sip of wine, Seamus said, “I didn’t ask you down here for another three-round fight about right and wrong. I sensed your distress, son. You need someone to talk to.”
“I should talk to you?” Zack sneered. “You fucking murdered me,Father. You took me away from everyone.”
“Did I?” Seamus reached into Zack’s backpack and withdrew his journal. “Because the boy in these pages had no one.”
Zack snatched his leather journal from Seamus’s hand. “I know you only read this to get in my head.”
“Takashi read it, and you consider him your lover,” Seamus replied. “Anyway, that journal isn’t the clearest picture of you. You weren’t terribly honest with yourself either.”
A tightness spread across Zack’s chest. “Yes I was.”
Seamus leaned forward. A softness filled his muddled blue and red eyes. “You know you weren’t. On the surface, the words you wrote were about your experiences, but I took the time to understand your meaning and the things you were not saying, even to yourself. Your mortal family left you behind because you made one calculation they didn’t like. Then they abandoned you again after Cal attackedyou. You yearned for Roger’s love, Josefina’s acceptance—you have sought to prove yourself over and over. You have never had to earn my love, Zackery.”
Snarling, Zack stepped into Seamus’s space. When Seamus leaned back, Zack slapped a hand on either armrest and growled in his face. “Youkilledme.”
No flicker of anger overcame Seamus. Not even their mental connection gave Zack anything other than Seamus’s want to comfort him. After a beat, Seamus said calmly, “I know you well enough to say you have armed yourself with your anger because you are frightened. You are terrified by what it would mean to trust me.”
“You make humans into slaves and hurt people for the fucking fun of it,” Zack snapped.
“You believe that if you do the wrong thing, I will hurt you? Your lover?” Seamus asked.
“Isn’t that why you’ve kept him around?”
“You deserve to come into your power with those who will nurture your gifts,” Seamus replied, a note of fatherly warmth in his voice. “Takashi is a worldly vampire who has been helping you bloom in your new life. I wager he’s even given you ideas.”
“Ideas,” Zack repeated slowly.Does he know? Shit. Can’t think about it.
Lightly, Seamus put a hand on the center of Zack’s chest and nudged him back out of his personal space. “Yes, I know you’re hoping to kill me and claim the coven. Yet you and Takashi live. I allow Takashi’s spawn to live.”
“Why?” Zack asked numbly.
“Because you are my son, and I love you.” Seamus picked up his glass of wine and gestured to the glass and empty seat beside him. “Besides, life is nothing without a little ambition.”
Zack sat down in the seat. “You’re not pissed at me?”
“I don’t spend this much time on anyone who annoys me, Zackery. Your journal makes it clear how goal oriented you can be. The ambition of taking the coven directs some of your anger at me into fuel rather than festering into depression.” Seamus sipped his wine. “I hope, with time, you won’t hate me. With the kingdom I am building, I will need reliable vampires alongside me.”
“You’re counting on me to be part of the foundation of this kingdom, aren’t you?” Zack said carefully.A new generation.
