A sort of shrinking happened suddenly, her shoulders sloping forward, her knees bending a little. I did feel bad for Celeste. More than I would’ve ever imagined. I couldn’t begin to fathom what that heartache felt like, but it wasn’t lost on me that Celeste was choosing the pain. She was choosing Maitoza over her sister. No, that wasn’t it. She was choosing the rebellion.
That much, I could understand. I’d been raised to choose the cause for my entire life. Not a day went by that I hadn’t thought of myself as second to the true plan—to the stars’ will. That was how I viewed the rebellion. A different version of what always existed. It was almost laughable how deluded the rebels were, because their commander was just my father in another frame, the female version of the exact same tyrant who ruled across the water. That was all every leader would ever be. Once, we were taught to believe that the dark ages held some sort ofmore sinister, more diabolical horror, but that wasn’t the case. I had known that even before I allowed the rebels to take me. We were all a different version of the same thing. We were selfish, unflinching, and—above all else—disposable.
“She’s going to be fine, Celeste. Don’t worry.” I stretched my other arm, bending my back slightly to workout the kink that had developed overnight from sleeping on the floor. “I do think, though, that you should reconsider your decision last night.”
Celeste’s big grey eyes narrowed, her upper lip curling ever so slightly. How odd that they somehow looked alike and yet completely different.
Tershetta is prettier.
Wait, what? No, she isn’t.
“Shut up, Pretty Boy. Just do yourself a favor and stay out of this one.” Celeste’s fist slammed into my arm, the sting minimal. Just to be nice, I pretended to wince, rubbing the spot.
I couldn’t recall when I became someone who cared to benice.
In Celeste’s defense, I could see that she wished to be selfish at that moment. Her pursed lips and tightly pinched eyes oozed pain and regret. A sort of push and pull. There was something about Celeste—an inherent desire to be different than who she had deemed evil—that stopped her from choosing herself and her sister.
“I can’t really stay out of it when you put me in the middle. You’ve decided that I’m going to be your sister’s babysitter until you’re ready to take over.”
“Oh, please. For once, stop trying to fool everyone.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
Celeste only rolled her eyes, looking for all the world as if she was a tired mother, exhausted from raising children who couldn’t care or think for themselves.
“I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer. Regardless, taking care of my sister will be no burden to you, because she won’t need any help once she wakes up.” Celeste bent low, stretching her back as she added, “I’m sure you can find a way though.”
Her words were soft, tone almost…scandalous.
Finally, I understood. I knew what Maitoza’s smile had been about. What Desi’s sad look must have meant. What Celeste was insinuating.
“I’m not interested in your sister,” I scoffed, trying to brush off such a thought. Yes, I had at one point considered marriage to Tershetta, but that was for power, not because Iwantedher. How had the three of them come up with that?Why?
Celeste’s eyes opened wider, her jaw slack. She looked surprised by what I said. Baffled. Almost…sad.
“Stars above,” she whispered, shaking her head and blinking rapidly. I continued to stare at her, feeling my brows pinch as I attempted to understand exactly what she meant by that. Finally, she spoke again, a sardonic smile lifting her lips. “You don’t even understand yourself.”
“And what does that mean?” I was growing defensive, voice pitched higher than normal.
“When she wakes up, you can’t come to training.”
Subject changed and my sour mood turning towards Maitoza, I groaned and finished my stretches. “Let me guess, Commander Crazy made that call?”
Suddenly, a pair of rather small hands shoved into my bent back, sending me down to my knees.
“Don’t talk about her that way. She’s going to change the world.” Celeste pivoted, facing the group of rebel fighters at our backs. “We’ll begin with free sparring. Pick your partners wisely!”
Readying for the onslaught of attacks, I rose, planted my feet, and bent my knees, waiting. Celeste whipped in a circle, throwing her leg out and sending her foot barreling towards my hip. I caught it, the feeling reminding me of my first fight with Little Void—of the loud, echoing crack across the domed training center ceiling.
In many ways, Celeste mirrored her sister. She was desperate to prove herself, determined to mean something, violent without remorse, and unwilling to change. But there was a difference there. A key factor that separated them, though the feeling in my chest couldn’t be described easily.
Gripping her ankle, I twisted Celeste’s leg, forcing her to turn and then shoving her lightly. Half of me watched Celeste fall to the ground, her knees slamming into the hard rock, while the other half recalled the way Tershetta looked as she awaited my final blow on the training mats. She hadsmiled.
“I don’t care to hear you kiss ourleader’sass.”
Celeste let out a guttural growl as she shoved herself up to a standing position. For a split second, her stare wavered, eyes flicking to her left. I dared a look, seeing Desi standing a few dozen feet away, sparring with someone I didn’t know.
Chuckling, I said, “I wouldn’t mind watching you kiss Desi’s ass, though. So long as I can join in.”
