When I’d slipped into bed last night, it was to the sight of her soundlessly sleeping, one of her hands reaching towards my side. I’d moved it gently, smiling at her, and I’d pictured how she looked up at me in that wardrobe. How she leaned in and closed her eyes. Our lips were so close to touching too. And before, when she’d pulled me away from Avery after the woman propositioned me.
Sure, she probably didn’t feel even half of what I did, but Nova wanted me. I could feel it even now as our bodies pressed together, readying for the dance.
“Maybe you’ll find you like being led by me,” I cooed, sliding my free hand down her arm, my chest aching as my touch left tiny bumps in its wake. I didn’t just have a chance with Nova. I was going to have her. I didn’t care in what way, so long as I could keep her. Wrapping my hand around hers, I lifted it. “I’m quite good at leading in two distinct areas. Dance—“
I moved us to the side, her feet instinctively mirroring mine. A smile split my face, her mouth pursed. Again, I moved us, making the steps more complicated. Her heart hammered against my stomach, her eyes attempting to flick down to watch her feet. Letting go of her waist, I gripped her jaw, tilting her head back until our eyes met.
“Don’t focus on your feet, Little Void. Focus on me. Onus.”For a brief second, I swore she’d argue, but then her eyes closed and she nodded.
“Okay.” From there, she didn’t look away from my face, even when she stumbled. Every time she stepped on my toes, I chuckled, loving every bit of the pain. Because I hadher.She was in my arms, her focus solely on me. I risked dipping my face as we went, getting closer to hers.
“What’s the second thing you’re good at leading during?” she asked when I was only a breath away. Was she scared? Did she even know what she felt? Had she guessed how I felt?
Flecks of silver glittered in her eyes as the light streamed in from the cottage windows. Her cheeks were still a beautiful shade of pink, her freckles like my own perfect night sky. Eager to impress her, I dipped her back, forcing her feet off the floor and catching her lower back with my thigh. A startled gasp left her mouth, parting her lips. Chasing her, I leaned down, bringing our noses so close they nearly touched.
I thought about the answer, excited to see how she’d react. Gaze still on her lips, I said, “I’m quite good at taking charge in bed too.”
All I got was an eye roll, though I could tell she was forming a response based on her squinted eyes and pursed lips. Before she could say anything snarky, I swung her back up, her feet touching the hardwood again. Wasting no time, I released her back in favor of twirling her in a circle, her fingers gripping mine tighter than before.
Dizzy, she stumbled, giving me the perfect opportunity to catch her against me. This time, I slid my palm lower, resting it on her lower back.
“Another rule: we are to act madly in love. Very few core or even elite pairs are actually happily together, but we all fake it. I don’t know why, seeing as everyone knows, but that’straditionfor you.” I swung her around the room as I spoke, trying to live in the moment rather than remember all that came before her. All I was before her. Remembering meant acknowledging just how much I didn’t deserve her. “Oh, another rule, lower class elites wait for upper class elites to approach them. We will have no access to anyone higher up than us unless they deign to grace us with their presence. Mother loved that—the power that camewith such a thing. So did I. It meant I rarely had to speak to anyone.”
Nova nodded, her chin brushing my chest as she looked up at me. I couldn’t stop my hands from returning to her face as we stilled, my thumb touching her full bottom lip as it parted from the top. Perhaps it was only instinct, but I liked to believe it was desire that had her stepping further into me, the pad of my thumb dragging down her lip.
This was it. I was going to kiss her and tell her I loved her and—
Shit.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit!
My fucking cock washard,growing by the second. And when she breathed deeply, I felt her press into my groin, my desperate member literally stabbing her. She jolted, her stomach brushing up my shaft, and an involuntary groan slipped out of my mouth. Her foot slammed down onto the top of my foot as she stumbled, followed by her yelp of surprise.
Stars above.
“Did I hurt you?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“No, but I…I need to…pee.”I stepped away from her, not looking back as I rushed to the bathroom and slammed the door behind me.
My hands pressed into the wood of the door, shame heating my face. I was a menace. How long had it been since I’d been this easily aroused? Decades. I was barely able to get it up at all while Benadell fucking Zade ruined my life for three months straight. Since, I hadn’t even thought to touch myself until Nova came around. Was this love? Being so impossibly obsessed with someone that even the look of their face is a turn on? The mere idea of them being near suddenly becomes arousing?
My cock twitched as I pictured her. Reluctantly, I slipped my hands into my pants, loosely gripping my cock. Images ofher flashed by without much thought, tightening my chest. Nova reading. Cooking. Eating. Laughing. Stars, how I loved watching herlaugh.
Pace growing more frantic, I lowered my trousers and pumped myself harder. I pictured her looking up at me. Her pulling me away from Avery. I thought of how she grabbed my arm in the meeting with Maitoza. How she’d tugged me into the bed that first time and offered to share.
Her voice. Yes, I loved her voice. What would it sound like if she said my name? My first name—the one unattached to my family. The thought had me biting back moans, my teeth digging into my bottom lip as the door creaked under the weight of my palm shoving into it. Pleasure built inside of me, making my body feel as if it was swelling.
Then, because I was already doing something she’d consider gross, I dared to picture Nova taking her clothes off. What had she looked like again? I couldn’t quite remember. But I knew she was soft, warm. I imagined what it’d be like to have her on her knees in front of me. Bouncing on top of me. Sitting on my fa—
My release shot onto the door, the thick liquid dripping slowly as more and more burst free. Gasps tore up my throat, my body shaking with the satisfaction I hadn’t experienced in so long. Slowly, I slid my hand up and down my cock, feeling both ashamed and terribly pleased.
***
We didn’t talk about it. Both of us were uncomfortably aware of what happened, but neither of us dared say anything. Maybe that was for the best. Who knew what the conversation would spark.
She’d invited me outside to brew shift with her after I’d come out of the bathroom, my face hot and my head downturned.While I’d have said yes to anything in that moment, I did truly enjoy watching her work.
Now, we sat outside, me skinning a dead reptile and her harvesting parts of her plants. A fire sat in the middle of our makeshift circle, the crackle a nice break from the awkward silence.
