“If I die, we need Nova to fight with the rebels. They need her, Az,” Celeste said between hiccups. “Please. I don’t want to do this either. I’ve been so hard on her. So unforgiving when all she wanted was to keep our family safe. I’d do anything to be better for her now. But she…sheneedsto choose this on her own.”
What was I meant to say? They weren’t giving me any choice but to agree, and it wasn’t like I was Tershetta’s keeper. Nothing I said would change anything.
Patting Celeste’s back once, I then grabbed her shoulders and gently pushed her away from me. Pivoting, I faced Maitoza head on. “Do whatever you want. She isn’t my problem in the end. Good luck getting her to trust you when she wakes up.”
“Actually, Azazel,” Maitoza said, “this is very much soyour problem.”
No. Please, no.
“Nova chose you when she ran. That matters. She’ll need you to be here when she wakes, which means you’ll be in charge of bringing her to the cause.” Stunned entirely, I did nothing but stare at the commander with a slack jaw. She couldn’t be serious.
“Commander, maybe it would be best if she stayed with me. I’ll have to check on her anyway,” Desi cut in, standing up and rushing to my side. She must have been done with Tershetta. Did that mean Little Void would be okay now?
“No, it’s best she stays here with someone she knows.” Maitoza’s eyes moved from Desi to me. “Someone shetrusts.”
Abruptly, the sound of Tershetta telling me she’d never trust me began echoing in my head.Bad news, Altair, I will never trust you.
“You are absolutelyinsane.Tershetta doesn’t trust me, she hates me!” Why wasn’t anyone listening to me? Was everyone but me living in some horrifying delusion?
“Enough, Azazel, the decision has been made.” Maitoza turned her back on me, taking sure and steady steps towards my front door. “I’m giving you two weeks before you must tell her about the rebellion and get her on board.”
Ha!As if it would take that long. Tershetta wasn’t going to sit around and not ask questions. Did she evensleep,for stars’sake? Convincing her it was just a coincidence that I was here and that nothing was happening would be impossible.
“Before we leave, I think I should get Nova cleaned up. I can come back later to bring her clothes, too,” Celeste interjected, her pleading gaze on Maitoza, who didn’t bother to turn.
“You’ll need as much sleep as possible since you’ll be leading drills tomorrow.”
“I can do it, then,” Desi offered. Maitoza finally whipped around, staring each of us down with something worse than rage or annoyance—pure indifference.
“Azazel has it handled.” Why was she so eager to leave me alone with Tershetta? Wasn’t she even the least bit concerned that I’d off her myself? Celeste stayed rooted to the spot, staring at Tershetta where she lay lifeless on my bed, her lips parted and her breaths shallow. “Come, Celeste. We can’t risk her seeing you anyway. There’s always a chance she’ll wake up sooner than we anticipate.”
Maitoza grabbed Celeste’s wrist, tugging her towards my door. All I could do was watch, unsure what I was meant to say. How could they just leave her with me? Did they have no sense? No care for her wellbeing?
As if she could read my thoughts, Celeste broke free of Maitoza’s hold, marching up to me and grabbing the collar of my shirt. I was ripped downward, our faces only a few inches apart.
“If you so much asthinkof hurting my little sister, I will make you regret the day you were born. Got it?” It’d be scarier if I wasn’t already halfway there. Regret and I knew one another intimately. “I willkill you.”
“Noted.”
Celeste seemed to accept my version of agreement, sighing heavily before walking over to my bed and leaning down to her sister. She pressed her forehead into Tershetta’s, her lips moving quickly, the words so soft I couldn’t hear them. But I could makeout the tears, the splashes of them against Tershetta’s bloody cheek like the first rain of Autumn. Foreboding. When Celeste placed a kiss on Tershetta’s forehead, I had to look away.
“Come on, Cel. We’ll see her again soon.” That was Desi’s kind voice, but it was quite clearly Maitoza’s suggestion. Desi gave Celeste whatever she wanted, this would normally be no exception. But, they all loved to fall in line.
Once, I did too.
The steady sound of their steps grew louder, until they stopped next to me, Desi reaching out and offering a squeeze to my shoulder. I gave her a tight-lipped smile, my back beginning to sweat despite the chilly air around us. What was I going to do with Tershetta?
Before I could so much as think up an answer, Maitoza quickly ushered out the two women, not even looking back at me before yanking the door closed. At my feet, the tiny cat began weaving through my legs again, her dainty purr loud when only Tershetta’s breaths and the crackle of the fire accompanied it. Crouching, I pet her, my eyes stuck on the door.
“That bitch is up to something, Murder.” Suddenly, the cat’s razor-sharp teeth dug into my hand. I yelped, tearing my eyes away from the door and training them on the menace at my feet, flicking her in the head. “Watch yourself.”
I could have sworn the cat’s half-lidded, unamused eyes were in response to what I said. Over the day already, I shoved myself back up, daring to look at Tershetta again. If it wasn’t for the blood, she’d look almost serene. As it was, she looked absolutely fucking awful.
Going to the small closet just off the bathroom, I grabbed my extra blanket and headed over to the floor, laying it down. I was decent enough not to get in the bed with her. Plus, she’d only get blood in my hair. Actually, I probably had blood on me. Looking down, I saw that, yes, she had stained my beige shirt. Groaning,I made my way to the bathroom, quickly cleaning myself off, my thoughts on Tershetta the entire time. Would she wake while I was bathing myself? What would she do if she walked in on me? What would shethink?
Stars above, I’m tired.
After draining the hot water and toweling myself off, I exited the bathroom on silent feet, oddly scared of her consciousness. As I should have expected, Tershetta hadn’t moved. Desi had said she wouldn’t wake for days, there was no reason to be so jumpy. I got dressed in a far less skittish manner, though I did find my eyes flicking towards my bed every few seconds.
