For the celestial deities are not unfair, they wish only to be served for their gracious gifts. So what will you do, dear reader, when those around you seek their worldly desires and encourage you to find your own? Will you waste your precious time? Will you favor yourself in lieu of the stars?
Do remember, gold comes and goes. Love ebbs and flows. Rulers rise and fall. But the stars? They are forever, and they are watching.
Chapter Fifteen
Nova
“Mama says I need to learn to stay still. But why stay still when there’s so much to do and learn?”
-From the journal of Nova Tershetta, 9244 AS
“You weren’t wrong, she’s crazy,” I said as I scrubbed the plates from our late lunch.
Altair was at my side with a rag, drying them once I finished, not responding. He’d been unnaturally silent since we’d come back to his cottage, leaving me on edge. I’d immediately made sandwiches from the supplies Maitoza had given me, hoping that some food would get him talking, but even that didn’t help. After eating, putting away the food, and now washing the dishes, I’d finally hit my limit.
“Okay, what’s wrong with you? You’re usually louder in the silence.” As I handed him the plate, our fingers brushed, a tingle vibrating my skin. Was he doing magic or something?
He must have felt it too, because he jerked his hand away from mine, causing the plate to crash to the ground. It shattered, the shards flying in every direction. Death hissed as she ran away from the mess.
“Shit, I’m sorry,” Altair mumbled.
We both dropped to our knees at the same time, our foreheads colliding with a loud smack.
“Universe spare me,” I mumbled as I gripped my aching head.
“Are you okay?” he asked, grabbing his own forehead as he reached forward. His skin was cold against mine, his fingers gentle as they glided across my brow.
“I think I should be asking you that. What’s going on? You’ve been weird since we got back.”
Altair seemed unable to look into my eyes, instead opting to slowly pick up glass from the ground as he pushed out loud breaths.
“Seriously, Altair, what’s wrong?” Still, he said nothing. Sighing, I helped him finish cleaning the shattered pieces, trying to come up with something useful to say. “I meant it when I said we’re allies, you know. We obviously had a rocky start and we’ve both held onto a lot of prejudice, but I do forgive you. I think you might be the only person in this world that I still trust.”
Finally, I got a reaction. His head whipped up, the shards in his fingers slipping back to the ground. His grey eyes were dark, nearly the same color I remembered Celeste’s being. His sharp cheeks and pointed nose were burning red, his lips parted.
“I trust you too,” he murmured.
“Then tell me what’s wrong. Did something happen? Should I be worried?” Shaking his head, he looked back down, picking up the last few pieces and willing them away. Now irritated, I decided to take a more direct approach. Not allowing myself any time to rethink the choice, I grabbed his hand, wrapping it in mine. “Okay, let me be more clear. I need you to talk to me. You’re my ally. My partner, in a way. Whatever is coming, we need to navigate it together.”
His eyes fluttered closed, his hand gripping mine back. Despite the soft gesture, his tone was scorching. “I’m afraid.”
“Of what? Dying?”
“No, not that,” he said, groaning. His face continued to redden, each word sounding almost angry. “I feared death my whole life, but the moment I killed Captain Zade, I wasn’t scared to die. If anything, I had long since been terrified to live, I just hadn’t realized it.”
Keeping my voice soft, I asked, “Then what are you afraid of?”
“Honestly?” he asked, the words a breathy scoff as he shook his head.
“Honestly. No judgment.”
“I’m afraid ofyou.”
A sharp laugh came out before I could stop it, the thought of Altair being even remotely afraid of me absurd. But Altair didn’t laugh, he only tugged his hand, trying to free himself from my grasp.
“Wait, I’m sorry! I just never thought I’d hear you say something like that. Please, I’m sorry.” Clearly not impressed with my poor apology, he only rolled his eyes. So, with my baffled smile still on my face, I tugged his hand towards me and said, “Help me understand.”
Eyes on our locked hands, Altair finally relented, his face pinching together into a stern expression. “I don’t have a lot of…friends.Really, the only ones I have are those I made from my parents. And I love them, I do. They’re the only good things in my life. Or, theywere.”
