“I’m not alone anymore. You’re here.” He nudged me again, making my lip curl. “And who said I don’t have a plan?”
“Well I don’t count because I’m not staying.”
“Because you have so many places to go?”
“No,” I paused, trying to decide if he was worth trusting after all. He hadn’t said he wasn’t going to participate in the so-calledliberationof Dajahim. Even if he had, look at all the lies Talon had told me, and he’dlovedme—at least in some strange capacity. No, I couldn’t trust Altair. “What’s your plan?”
“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine,” he fired back.
I tried to remove all emotion from my face, letting my jaw loosen and my eyes fall half-lidded. “How would I plan anything from here?”
“I’d be stupid to believe you were doing anything other than plotting. It’s what you do.”
“Funny coming from a strategist.”
Grinning, he said, “You would have been an excellent strategist.”
“That almost sounded like a compliment.”
“Oh, it was one.”
Chapter Eleven
Azazel
“I started my apprenticeship today. Father watched me and Elite Angelo work the entire time. After, he said the elite was an idiot and that he’d be the only one training me from now on. There goes my reprieve.”
-From the journal of Azazel Altair, 9236 AS
Tershetta liked her food crispy.
I knew that because she did this little shimmy when she bit into something that audibly crunched.
Tershetta preferred a cold room with lots of blankets and quilts.
I knew that because sometimes she’d open a window like an insane person and then take all of the blankets and cuddle up on the sofa with ten books surrounding her.
Tershetta preferred coffee over tea.
I knew that because she thanked me for tea, but shesmiled at mewhen I made coffee the first time.
What Tershetta liked most, were books.
I knew that because Octavia had told me in the letter I gripped between my fingers, her bubbly handwriting reminding me of the brightness she seemed to exude. I thought of my own mother as I stared at the words on the parchment. Of her blonde hair with pink tones. Of her cold blue eyes and perpetuallydownturned mouth. I could picture the layers of delicate finery she wore, how the cloth wrapped around her like a shield. Every click of her heeled shoes against the floors of Castle Altair. Even the cool, sharp tone of her voice was engraved into my brain so deeply I thought I’d never forget.
She was a moon to Octavia Tershetta’s sun. Winter versus summer. And I wondered then if she had ever held the brightness of Tershetta’s mother. If, when she was Elise Brash, she had hoped for love and warmth. If she had ever bothered to hope at all.
Tershetta was still asleep, her lips parted and her hair fanned out across my pillows. Murder was curled up by her chest, sleeping so soundly she didn’t even purr. Somehow, in her unconsciousness, Tershetta proved she was the sun too. And maybe I was a moon, just like Mother. Perhaps I’d always cast shadows in her presence. But…but maybe I could also help her shine brighter—could dare to shine in her light.
As I shadow walked, I kept my eyes on her mouth, wondering if they’d be soft despite the cuts and bruises.
Stars, I’m going insane.
Landing just outside of the wards before Castle Altair, I sucked in a breath of the crisp, mountain air. Snow had fallen over the land since the last time I’d snuck home, coating the trees and sticking to my black boots. While I couldn’t see the castle, I knew it would look just as it always had. Pointed, symmetrical towers piercing the sky. Long, arched windows stained with images of snakes and eight-tipped stars. Black stone statues of more snakes placed along the towers. From the outside, maybe some would look upon Castle Altair in awe, but as I stepped through the wards—which surprisingly still let me in—I could only see it as a prison.
Now through the wards, I shadow walked directly to my bedroom, landing just in front of my bed. I stared at the silk,black sheets, trying to remember what it had felt like to lay in them and think the future held promise. While I hadn’t felt safe, I had felt powerful. Maybe I even felt lucky. Why would I care that I had parents who hated me when I was surrounded by more wealth than I could possibly need? More power than I could ever imagine?
Sighing, I snatched the small pile of letters off the silver-padded bench against the footboard, tucking them into my trouser pocket. After, I went to my closet, the room larger than what had been given to me back at Elite Academy. Oh how I missed this space. I wished I could bring everything with me. Looking nice made me feel nice, and that was vital when I was likely about to go back and tell Tershetta about the rebellion. Maitoza wouldn’t give me more time, that I knew.
