“It wasn’t you, was it? That didn’t sound like you.” Altair’s eyes were flitting between mine, his brows pinched together. I couldn’t help it, I groaned, rubbing my face with my hands so forcefully that my head began to pound and my bottom lip resplit.
“You idiot!” Sucking in air, I pinched my eyes closed, thinking. Thinking. Alwaysthinking.Always fixing what everyone else broke. Always pivoting and reacting to everyone and everything around me.Always fucking failing.
“Tershetta, what’s going on? Why are we here?” Altair sounded borderline frantic, the stress leaking from him merging with mine and threatening to drown us both. I wished he’d shut his stupid mouth. I wished he’d fucking die. I wished we’d all die and finally stop ruining everything.
“Nova Tershetta, you think us set in our path, but we will take away what has been given if you do not cease these thoughts! You will not take away our fun!”
“Shh!” I hissed, the violent and spit-filled sound aimed at both Altair and the stars. They acted like I cared. Like I was still desperate to please them. How they couldn’t see that I no longerneeded them when everything had been taken from me already, I didn’t know.
“How dare you shush me! I am not some—”
“Shh!” Altair gasped as I shushed him again, but I tuned him out, trying to salvage my plan.
If I took us back, he’d never let me out of his sight.
If I said I just wanted to see my village, he’d keep me closer.
If I said I was going to kill his former best friend, he’d stop me.
If I tried to fight him, I’d lose.
Neither of us were going anywhere, because this was my only chance. I had one shot at my plan. One opportunity. I couldn’t waste it. But Altair was wanted, and he was even more recognizable than I was. He’d be spotted within minutes, especially since it was midday. The sun shone faintly over us, not quite hidden behind the deep grey clouds. A storm was coming, made obvious by the damp and charged air. Pressure barreled into my body, trying to flatten me. The brick buildings on either side of us seemed to close in as I tried to make a choice.
I had one vial of shift. Only one.
Finally, I opened my eyes, gaze immediately locking with Altair’s. He was already staring at me, his pale grey eyes wide and his light brows furrowed. He had tugged his bottom lip into his mouth and crossed his arms, the faint sound of his expensive boot tapping against the mud at our feet echoing in the alleyway. I could hear no one nearby, which was odd. People were always roaming during the day. Many were worse off than my family and I had been. Even more desperate for coin. No one ever skipped work.
Even though I knew he’d refuse, I still ripped the vial from my pocket and reached up to grip Altair’s neck. His hand darted to mine, fingers wrapping around my wrist.
“What are you doing?”
“We don’t have time, drink this.” Lifting the vial, I tugged the small cork loose with my teeth, noting how keenly Altair watched, how he stared openly at my movements. Distrusting until the end. That was good. He shouldn’t trust me.
“No!” He swatted my hand and the vial away, but didn’t attempt to move my other hand from his neck. His breath danced in the air, the cold turning each exhale into clouds that mingled with mine.
“Yes!” I was growing even more irritated, my cheeks burning.
“What is it?”
“Just fucking drink it!” I shoved it against his lips, watching as the deep red liquid pooled at the seam of his full mouth.
Despite my low thoughts of him, Altair opened his mouth and drank. I watched his throat bob, the prominent bump of cartilage on his neck moving in time with his swallow. When it was fully gone, I shoved the vial back into my pocket and lifted onto my toes, placing my other hand around his neck as well. I didn’t have time for him to think of a new appearance, so mine would have to suffice.
“Now look at me, Altair.” Surprisingly, he did as he was told, his eyes unblinking as they stared into my own. “Think of my eyes as they were. Think of the exact color. Look at my nose, how it’s prominent like my eyebrows. Study my hair. Look at the exact curls. The uneven rings and the way small strands escape.” His eyes followed my guidance, his breathing speeding up. Against my skin, I sensed the rise in his magic, the way it began working in tandem with the shift in his system. I watched as his eyes deepened, the color almost an exact match to the deep honey mine had been for so long. “Can you count my freckles? Picture each of them and then see them as a whole. Look at my lips. The curve, the color. Do you see the way the top is fuller? How it’s unbalanced?”
Before long, Altair’s entire appearance shifted. Suddenly, his almost silver hair began to burn, as if the strands were being cooked over a fire. The sections coiled and grew slightly, becoming a sea of ribbons. Even then, they remained tame, as if his subconscious couldn’t allow his hair to be a mess. Freckles dotted across his still pale skin, his top lip growing in time with his nose. And then there he was, a version of me that I feared. The me I’d have become if I continued on as an elite.
“Little Void,” he whispered, his body sinking in on itself, his face moving towards mine. His eyes hadn’t left my mouth, the golden shade unsettling.
Releasing my hold on him, I backed away, needing fresh air. The shift had worked, so he didn’t need to study me anymore. I could breathe, could think clearly, could escape the odd weight of his stare.
“You just took shift. It’s a transformative potion.” Altair’s hand that had been wrapped around my wrist fell to his side, stretching out before going slack. I watched as he seemed to catch his breath, his freckled ivory cheeks turning a deep shade of pink.
“I…I what?” The curls atop his head shook with his movement, one of them falling over his forehead. It was then that Altair finally caught up.
He stilled, reaching up to grab the dark ribbon and tug it low enough to study. A gasp slipped from between his unbalanced lips, his frown showing that he did still have his dimples. He had listened so well that he hadn’t taken on my skin tone, my large ears, or my smaller frame. Really, he had barely changed beyond the hair, though I noticed each oddity as if I’d long since studied his face.
Altair dipped his head, staring at his reflection in a small puddle that soaked the mud in the alleyway. He gawked, touching his new features, his fingers shaking. I hated watchinghim grip the curls, how he pressed onto his top lip with his thumb. Everywhere he touched his face, I swore I could feel the pressure on myself.
