“Do you know what my parents told me? They said that eadi are practically domesticated animals. But do you know who raised me? Who cooked my food? Who cleaned my quarters?Eadi.The ends justify the means to people like my father and Maitoza. When she came to get me from that cell, she told me she was willing to make moves that some might deem wasteful and dangerous to win the game. Do you know what that sounds like to me? Someone prepared to eat from your hand and then cut it right off.”
Sighing, Desi pushed the rags to the side, clasping her hands after. “Let’s say you’re right. What do we do about it? This rebellion is our only chance at fighting back. There’s nothing left after this.”
Oh, she had me there. And she knew it. “I don’t know. But I do know that there isn’t a right side in this. There’s a lesser evil.”
“Well, have you considered that it might be worth dying if it means the eadi can finally have peace?” Her voice was soft, melancholy making it breathier. Her face was painted with pain, each dip and sag a sign of the heaviness that life forced upon us all.
“Let me guess, you’d die if it meant giving Celeste a good life?”
“Wouldn’t you do the same for Nova?”
“Yes, which is why I won’t let us all be murdered.” With that thought fresh in my mind, I placed my hands on Desi’s. “Speaking of which.”
She looked up, letting out a heavy sigh. “What now?”
“I need to tell Nova that Celeste is alive.”
Her head whipped forward, her eyes wide. “You can’t. We promised Celeste.”
“She wants the impossible. Nova will never fight this for any reason other than vengeance and penance. It isn’t in her nature.”
“Well then we wait for Celeste to get home and let her make the decision. We can’t go behind her back, that’shersister. This is what she wants. We owe her that.”
Annoyed now at the continued lack of care for Nova andherwants, I ripped my hands away, crossing my arms.
“Listen, I understand you love Celeste. You’ll always be on her side, fighting to protect her. That’s good. Your allegiance is with her. Your loyalty belongs toher.But I…IloveNova. She is who I owe it all to, not Celeste. I can’t keep watching her slowly deteriorate. I can’t risk her trying to burn herselfalive again because she’s convinced more people will die at her metaphorical hand.”
“She wasn’t thinking. That was just a one-time thing,” Desi insisted, her eyes watering and her lip jutting out. I knew inside she understood my fear—that she shared it. Because if Celeste came home to her sister dead, she’d never recover.
“You know that isn’t true. She cried in her sleep last night. Her nightmares leave her breathless and screaming sometimes. This will only get worse. She seems okay right now because she’s busy trying to figure out the Maitoza thing and she’s pushing down those feelings. But that won’t last. And I won’t lose her.”
“Just…wait for me to hear back from Celeste. Let me see when she’s coming back and at least warn her.”
“When was the last time you heard from her?”
Desi worried her lip, ringing her hands on top of the desk. “It’s been over a week.”
Sitting upright, I stared at her, feeling the dread wash over me. “How fast does she normally respond?”
“Within the day.”
Chapter Forty-One
Nova
“One thing I’ve learned from books that seems to be true universally is that you really can’t trust authority. Everyone is far too selfish to be good at leading.”
-From the journal of Nova Tershetta, 9252 AS
“Thank you all for meeting with me,” the commander said as she sat down at the head of the table. Azazel, Quinn, Priya, Caleb, Zura, Desi, and I all sat, waiting for her to berate us. “I’m sorry I didn’t get to meet with you yesterday like I hoped. I fell surprisingly ill.”
Az let out a soft snort, catching Commander Maitoza’s eye. I kicked him under the table, smiling widely at her. “That’s okay. We understand. What would you like to speak to us about?”
“Well, for starters, I want to discuss each of your places in this rebellion. I fear none of you have truly made the choice to be an active part in it. Even you, Nova, have only done what has been asked of you. That concerns me. We don’t need anyone being a part of this movement unless they truly believe in it. Otherwise, who’s to say your loyalty will remain with us?”
Give me a break.
“How do you suggest we do that? Kiss your feet?” Otarn asked, crossing her arms as she leaned back. Stars, these cores were terrible at winning people over.
