“I’m afraid I’m losing my looks and that I’m not attractive to you anymore.” My voice comes out in barely a whisper, and I feel the burn of tears, that I try to blink away.
Harry says nothing, his mouth opening and closing several times as though trying to form words but failing. His eyes dart between mine, searching for something that he clearly doesn’t find as his brow dips. “Lis…I…” He shakes his head, unbelieving. “How long have you been feeling like this?”
I can’t stop the tears falling or the tremble of my lip. “Since Mary was born.”
Reaching up to cup my face with both his hands, Harry swipes at the wetness on my cheeks with the pads of his slightly calloused thumbs. “Lisa,” he says softly, sadness tinging his usually steady voice. He takes a deep breath as though calming himself. “Talk me through this.”
I snivel and wipe my nose on the back of my hand. “My body didn’t go back into shape after the c-section, I have a belly overhang.”
He looks down, even though he couldn’t see what I’m talking about from this position. Frowning deeper, he shakes his head again. “And you think that makes you unattractive to me?”
Instead of answering, I continue listing. “My boobs have sagged; my nipples seem to be pointing to the floor nowadays. My hair is thinning. My skin is dull, and I’m getting wrinkles.”
“Okay.” Harry sighs, stopping me from saying anything more. “Just give me a minute here.” He looks away, a thoughtful tilt to his head.
When he takes more than a few seconds to say anything, I start to get nervous, fidgeting on his lap and pinching at the fabric of his t-shirt on his shoulders. “What? Why aren’t you saying anything?”
He huffs a breath. “I’m trying to think of the best thing to say because I know if I say the things that are actually going through my head, they’ll be the wrong things to say, and I’ll definitely make this whole thing worse.”
My lips wobbles and my chest aches. “What’s going through your head?”
He shakes his head with a disappointed downturn to his mouth. “No, it’s not the right thing to say.”
Thinking the worst, I push the tears gathering in my eyes out with a slow blink. “Just tell me,” I whisper.
“That this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard.” He turns back to face me, an unimpressed look on his face.
I blink at him, my brow dropping with the weight of my confusion. “What do you mean?”
“Babe, you’re the most brilliant, most caring, smartest, loving person I have ever known. You also happen to be the most beautiful, sexiest, fuckable woman I have ever laid eyes on.”
My mouth drops open, and I close it, only for it to fall open again. “Bu-but…maybe…once, I was. Now I’m—”
“The most beautiful, sexiest, fuckable woman with a brilliant mind, caring heart, and loving personality to ever exist.” Despite his completely hyperbolic statement, he stares at me with an intense sincerity that pins me in place and makes my eyes burn with fresh tears. He holds my face in his hands and pulls me to him, kissing me softly and sweetly before dipping his tongue between my parted lips and turning the kiss into something so much more.
I can feel every swipe of his tongue as if it were between my legs, one hand comes away from my face to grip my buttwith vicious fingers. My hips move of their own volition, grinding into his hardening length. A small groan leaves me as I kiss him back with equal vigour, my fingers raking through his hair, messing up the golden strands.
“Angel,” Harry groans pulling away from our first passionate kiss in what feels like forever, and I pout. “I will never not be attracted to you. You willalwaysbe my perfect woman.”
“Then why haven’t we had sex in ten months?” I ask in the smallest voice I have, looking down between us to avoid eye contact.
Once again, he pulls my chin up with one bent finger. “I knew you were feeling a little off after Mary was born. You kept pulling away from physical contact and you were wearing the really baggy pyjamas with the holes in, and I very much got the message.”
I huff out a humourless laugh.
“You weren’t feeling it, and I didn’t want to put any kind of pressure on you, I told myself I would wait for you to initiate something, so I knew you were ready.” He sighs. “But you never did, ten months later, here we are.”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“Babe, you don’t need to apologise. I wanted you to feel comfortable and be completely ready when we had sex again.”
“Iwasready,” I say. “I’ve been so horny.” The admission comes out on a desperate breath, wide eyes pleading him to now rectify the situation.
“I figured that when I walked in on you with your book boyfriend the other week.” He raises one brow and I feel my cheeks heat as I fight a smirk.
“Then why didn’t you do something then?”
He tilts his head from side to side. “That’s when I decided you were angry with me. You obviously wanted to come, you just didn’t want me to get you there.” He slumps slightly.
