My heart is thumping against my breastbone, hard enough to judder my whole body. “Jake, I…” I trail off because I don’t know what to say. I should tell him to stop because my stupid heart will start getting stupid ideas. I should say I’m fine and that we should just go to sleep because every brush of his skin against mine is like lightning in my veins and I don’t want to fully turn back into that sad schoolgirl pining over her brother’s best friend with not a chance in Hell of having him.
“You want me to stop, Nel?” His voice is low and steady and much closer than I thought. His lips close to my ear, sending shivers down my spine. “Just tell me you don’t want this.”
This?This?What’s this? He means just the massage, right?
I can’t tell him to stop, the warmth of his hands on my skin won’t let me. “It feels really good,” I say breathily instead.
“Well, hopefully this makes us even for me knocking you on your arse,” he says far more upbeat and chummier than before and I just nod, feeling a moment I couldn’t quite grasp has passed. He only touches the top of my back and my shoulders, not venturing any lower.Because he isn’t attracted to you, stupid girl. He just wanted to make up for your fall…and kissed you silly.
“Thanks, I think I’m good now.” I move away from him and slide into bed. “I should probably get to sleep, I’ve got to be up and out early.”
He looks at me in question.
“I’m heading back into London tomorrow; I’ve got a client at nine o’clock and I don’t have an assistant, so I need to be there early enough to set up.”
“I could be your assistant.” He looks as surprised by his words as I am.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” he says, sliding to lay down and turning on his side to face me. “Let me come and watch you work.”
“O-okay.”
*****
It’s only a forty-minute train journey to Waterloo and then two tubes to my little studio situated above a Lebanese restaurant. Even this early in the morning when the restaurant is closed, the smell of sweet spices and mint permeates the air. I switch the heaters on as soon as we get inside. When taking photographs of people in their underwear, it is important to keep things toasty. It takes only a few minutes to get the place nice and warm, so I shed my hat, gloves, and coat.
“You want a coffee?” Jake asks, pointing his thumb over his shoulder. “I saw a Starbucks up the road.”
“Oh, don’t go there,” I say as I screw my face up. “There’s a little café just opposite that does the best chai tea latte.”
“One of those then?” he asks with a smile and I nod.
While he’s gone, I set up my camera and my lights. I have two sets that I use: one with a large metal framed four poster bed draped in wispy, white fabric and several sets of sheets in varying colours. The other is an empty corner with exposed brick walls that I can put a backdrop up or move any of the random props or pieces of furniture into. In the opposite corner, I have a tiny kitchenette with a single cupboard, one drawer, a mini fridge, a kettle, and a microwave. By the stairs from the front door, I have a couple of chairs and a coffee table. And off to one side is a dressing table with one of those antique looking room dividers that clients can change behind. It isn’t much, no more than one room but I worked hard to get it looking good, with a lot of help from my dad. In just a few years, I have used this space to build a successful business.
I look around my baby, my sanctuary, and think back on Charles’ words from yesterday.I’m sure your parents were incredibly proud too. I would be. For the first time, I try to see myself and my life from their eyes, not comparing it to those around me, not choosing to focus on what I need to do better, but just looking at what I have done. And I smile. Charles is right, they were proud of me. They saw me achieve something I’m so happy with, and they were proud.
I’m still smiling to myself when Jake walks in. Is there a more beautiful sight in the world than a gorgeous man carrying sweet, caffeinated goodness your way? He gives me that sexy Elvis smile and a lock of his dark brown hair falls over his eyes in a way that makes me want to roll the silky strand between my fingers.
“Thank you.” I bring the cup to my lips and sip the aromatic chai, nodding when it hits the spot. I catch Jake staring at me, his eyes trailing my lips as my tongue catches a drop of tea from them. He seems to shake himself out of whatever thoughts that are occupying his head and looks around.
“So, what do you need help with?”
“Um,” I look around too. “I haven’t had a chance to chat to this client much before today, it was kind of a rushed appointment. So I don’t know what they’re going to want.” I bite my lip in thought. “Could you open up that cabinet over there?” I point to the far wall where I keep most of my props. “And get the stuff out and ready?”
He heads over to the cabinet while I start arranging the curtains around the bed to how I like them, then set up the backdrop so it can be easily rolled in if we need it.
“Um, Nel?”
“Hmm?”
“You want all these whips out?”
I turn to see him smirking at me with a cherry red riding crop in one hand, slapping it against the palm of the other. Salacious thoughts stop my brain from functioning for a moment.Verysalacious thoughts.
Jake isn’t deterred by my lack of response, approaching slowly with the crop still in hand. “You like this kind of stuff?”
I clear my throat and some of my thoughts. “It’s not about whatIlike, it’s about what the client wants.”
