“Yes, Nel.” Cami smiles at me so genuinely, I can’t help but offer one back. “Please sit down, let us get to know each other, we’re family after all.”
The idea of them ‘getting to know me’ is a little terrifying, I don’t want to embarrass myself or Harry. I know he’s funny about my job and his in-laws finding out the true nature of my photography.
“Rhiannon showed me some of your photographs from your website,” Camilla says and my heart stops for a second. “They’re absolutely stunning; you’re incredibly talented.”
I blink at her.
“Yes, very beautiful.” Charles nods and looks at me with something akin to pride. “You have your own studio space?”
“Uh, yes. I mean I rent, I don’t own it or anything.”
“Still, renting your own commercial space in London is impressive. You must be proud of yourself.”
“I…” I take a moment, a more genuine smile stretching at my face. “I am.”
Charles smiles back at me beneath his whiting blonde moustache, his eyes crinkling with the force of it. “I’m sure your parents were incredibly proud too. I would be.”
That whooshes the air from my lungs and my eyes sting with unshed tears. Cami notices and instead of giving me the expected ‘I’m sorry your parents are dead’ speech, she closes her hand over mine on my leg and offers me a reassuring squeeze that seems to say it for her. I’m grateful not to have to hear the words. I’m also grateful to hear that my parents would be proud of me. They told me, of course, but my career hadn’t taken off until after Dad got sick so there were always other things that we talked about. The conversations over the last couple of years were usually a lot more sombre.
“Thank you,” I whisper as a single tear escapes.
Charles reaches over Cami’s shoulders to pat mine while Cami squeezes my hand again. From there, the conversation becomes lighter as we talk about their trip to Mexico this summer, and they ask if I travel much.Not as much as I’d like. I find them easy to talk to and despite Harry’s obvious concerns, they aren’t offended by my work in the slightest.
My eyes keep drifting to Jake on the opposite sofa, talking to Hen, Gordan, Lisa, and Harry as well as engaging with the kids. He has little Margot on his knee, bouncing her until she giggles, and he brings Lucas and Oscar into the conversation with the grown-ups. Although Oscar is young enough to be snuggled on his dad’s lap, he still answers thoughtfully every time Jake asks his thoughts on their conversation. Lucas sits on the floor at Jake’s feet, facing and mimicking him by bouncing baby Freddie on his leg. Both boys look at Jake with such adoration and love that I get a weird pang of guilt.
I hardly see the boys. I hardly see Harry. The last time I spent any time with my brother was at the probate meeting to discuss our parents’ assets with the solicitors. It was a difficult meeting and Harry had asked if I wanted to go to lunch after, but I was too drained. I just wanted to get home, get to bed, and cry. He’d been disappointed, not able to hide the rolling of his eyes and I’d felt guilty. But not enough to go to lunch with him.
I’ve been invited to Harry and Lisa’s many times over the years: BBQs, kids’ birthday parties, a Halloween party. But I’ve never come, claiming work was keeping me too busy. I only really saw them when we all got together with Mum and Dad because I felt comfortable with that dynamic of having Mum and Dad as a buffer between Harry and me.
I can’t remember exactly when he started poking fun and using me as the butt of every joke he made to his friends. I know he didn’t do it to hurt me; he did it to impress them. I used to try and laugh along, so he probably thought I was enjoying his hilarity as much as everyone else. He’d tease me for being chubby, for being bad at sports, for being clumsy and awkward, for anything really. It was always done as a joke and never to be cruel. When we were both a little older, he seemed to have such large opinions about my life, who I spent my time with, what I wanted to do with my life, deciding to rent in the city instead of trying to buy a place of my own. I love Harry and I’m so happy for him and his beautiful family, but I have very little in common with him and when he runs out of conversation he usually reverts to the jokes. When Mum and Dad were around, I could hide behind them, so to speak. Now, spending time with Harry is draining, using my defences at full force to keep up the show that none of his ‘jokes’ bother me. That’s why I haven’t visited much. Why I’m nearly a stranger to my nephews when Jake is practically a third parent.
“What are the road closures about outside?” I ask, trying to do my part and make polite conversation.
“The fair tomorrow,” Lisa says.
“Fair?” Jake asks and Lisa rolls her eyes.
“It’s on the itinerary, Jake,” she says with affectionate frustration.
“Nel,” Jake gasps with mock horror. “With all that studying of the itinerary we did this morning, I still can’t recite the damn thing.”
I hide my smile behind my hand before schooling my features and looking at him with as much disappointment I can muster. “Well, your study methods are quite lacking, Mr. Partridge.”
His eyes flash with mischief and that Elvis smile tugs his lips on one side.
“Babe,” Lisa whines to Harry. “They’re making fun of my itinerary.”
Harry reaches his hand to his wife with wide eyes. “I don’t know why, my dear. It’ssucha normal thing to do!” His sarcasm has the whole room chuckling. Lisa punches his arm but leans into him, trying to pout over her smile.
“Oh, my darling,” Charles laughs at his daughter. “We all very much appreciate your organisation and everything you have done to look after us this Christmas.”
Cheers erupt around the room.
Jake’s eyes catch mine and a slow and sexy smile stretches his lips. For a brief moment my skin heats thinking of him looming over me under that mistletoe, how I thought he might have kissed me if I hadn’t moved away. Man, I wish I knew for sure.
“Right,” Lisa says, with a clap of her hands. “The boys have asked that we play a game before dinner.”
“Yes!” Oscar jumps from Harry’s lap.
