ChapterOne
The Ranch
“How goes the penis embargo?”Salem asked.
I gestured to the bakery box from Sweet Teeth.“Please, not in front of the donuts.”
“It’s ten in the morning.Shouldn’t we wait for cocktail hour to discuss this?”Hadley inquired with her head buried in the open refrigerator.
“And what would cocktail hour look like now?”Poet asked, her freckled nose wrinkling.
“More like mocktail hour.”I shook my head.“What with the three of you growing humans from scratch.By the way, it’s no fun to drink alone.”
The four of us were in Hadley and Salem’s family’s guest cabin where Hadley, her new husband Declan, and their pygmy goat Tempest lived.
Said pygmy goat was currently on the couch with her belly to the ceiling.
Livin’ the dream.
“Do you miss sex?”Salem asked.
“Youwith the questions.So early in the morning.I’ve only had one cup of coffee,” I teased.
A snort came from underneath the coffee table and a moment later, Poet’s pet pig wiggled out from her nap spot.
“Brooks and I figured out that you can’t even say the wordcoffeearound Lottie.And don’t leave your cups unattended,” Poet said, leaning over and stroking Lottie’s head.“She has a thing for heavily creamed coffee.”
To prove her point, Poet held out her mug of half-drunk coffee to Lottie, who all but shoved her snout into the mug.
“Rewarding bad behavior, I see,” I quipped.
“You try saying no to that face,” Poet said with a laugh.
“Fig’s going to get jealous,” Salem warned.
Sure enough, Salem’s beagle mix popped up from her spot in front of the lit wood stove and padded toward Poet.Fig bumped Lottie with her nose.Lottie immediately pulled her snout out of the mug, wagged her little pig tail, and then traipsed back underneath the coffee table.
Fig slurped the rest of Poet’s coffee.
“Aww, siblings who know how to share,” I said.“That’s nice.”
“You want a clean cup and a refill?”Hadley asked Poet.
Poet shook her head.“I’m good.”
“What are you doing over there?”I turned to look at Hadley who was still rooting around in the fridge.
“I can’t find what I’m looking for ...”Hadley grumbled.
“You still didn’t answer my question,” Salem stated.“Sex.Do you miss it?”
“Damn, I thought the ranch beasts had distracted you enough to drop the subject,” I said.
“Nope.”Salem grinned.“Tell the class.”
I sighed.“No.I don’t miss it.And I don’t miss the lies men tell me just so I’ll let my guard down.”
I stroked Mildred’s back.The cream-colored long-haired dachshund was perfectly content to curl up in my lap.
