When Ody pulled back, he lingered there for a moment. His thumb brushed over Mano’s lip, his expression slowly turning serious. “I really want to talk to Anna.”
Mano blinked. “And tell her what?”
“I don’t know.” Ody shook his head. “Maybe... that I can’t do this anymore. That I want to break up.”
“She’ll want to know why,” Mano said, watching him.
“I’ll tell her…” Ody hesitated. “That I’m not in love with her anymore. I’ll tell her the truth.”
“You’ll hurt her.”
“And what I’m doing now is any better? I want to be with you.”
A knot formed in Mano’s stomach.
Too fast. Everything was moving too fast.
Ody was ready to end his relationship because of him. And if he did that… there would be no going back. They wouldn’t just be sneaking around anymore. They would be real. A couple. And that thought sent a cold knot of fear through him.
What if Ody got bored? What if he changed his mind? What if he left?
Mano had spent his whole life convincing himself he didn’t need anyone. If Ody broke up with Anna for him and then walked away later… he wasn’t sure he would survive that.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea,” Mano said.
Ody stared at him. “What do you mean?”
Mano hesitated. “Maybe we should... take things slow. You never know what life has in store.”
Ody went still. Take things slow. So that was it. Mano didn’t want this to become something real. “What life has in store…” he repeated. “So what? Do you see yourself with a woman in the future?”
Mano met his eyes. “Why not?”
The answer hit Ody like a knife to the chest. Not because Mano might end up with a woman, but because he had said it so easily. As if a future without Ody didn’t bother him at all.
He looked away. “I’ll make us something to eat,” he said, climbing out of bed. “Then I’ll head home.”
In the kitchen, Ody cracked eggs into the pan and whisked them without really thinking about it. He tried to push the conversation out of his mind. Pretend it hadn’t happened. Focus on something simple. Cooking. Breathing. Anything but that conversation.
When the omelet was ready, they sat down at the table to eat. “How did you sleep?” Ody asked, keeping his tone casual.
“Fine.”
“You looked peaceful. I think holding my hand helped.”
Mano frowned. “What hand?”
“You held my hand all night,” Ody said with a faint smile. “Didn’t you notice?”
Mano’s face turned red. “W-what are you talking about?” he said quickly. “I was facing the wall with my pillow.”
“You turned around and grabbed my hand. I woke up twice and saw you.”
“Yeah, right,” Mano muttered, looking down at his plate.
Neither of them mentioned the conversation from earlier. They finished breakfast mostly in silence. When they were done, Ody slung his backpack over his shoulder, and Mano walked him to the door.
“I’m really glad I was here with you,” Ody said, forcing a small smile. Then he leaned in and pressed his lips to Mano’s. Manoresponded immediately, and within seconds the slow affection turned desperate. When their tongues met, Ody held him a little tighter, as if trying to hold on to something slipping through his fingers.
