Ody’s gaze flicked to the table. Steve and the others were laughing about something, completely unaware. His grip loosened a fraction, but he didn’t let go right away. His fingers stayed on Mano’s wrist, barely holding on, like his body hadn’t caught up to what his mind already knew. Mano’s eyes cut down to the touch. Cold. Ody felt the message like a blow.
His fingers uncurled one by one, slow and reluctant, until his hand fell from Mano’s skin completely. The absence of that contact killed him. Mano didn’t spare him a glance. He turned and walked away, shoulders stiff, jaw set, leaving Ody standing there with his empty hand hanging uselessly at his side.
He stayed exactly where he was, staring at the floor, the weight of what he had done pressing down on him. The sounds of forks and plates and casual conversation drifted from the table behind him, normal and loud in a way that made him feel even more out of place.
He forced himself to turn around and walk back, sitting with the others like nothing had happened. He barely heard Steve teasing Antony about the bacon, or Christina laughing with Anna. He nodded when someone spoke to him, pretending he was fine, he was present, even though every part of him felt hollow.
When breakfast finally ended, everyone stood to leave. Afterward, they split into cars. Mano sat in the front seat, turned completely toward the window the entire ride.
At the beach, everyone ordered drinks. Everyone except Mano, who didn’t even stop at the chairs. He walked straight into the water and dove under the surface without a word. His body cut through the waves fast, like he needed the distance.
Ody barely heard anything around him. Anna asked something. Steve made a joke. It all sounded far away.
He pushed back his chair and stood up. “I’m going in.”
Steve raised an eyebrow. “You’re not waiting for us again?”
“I came to swim, didn’t I?”
“Sunscreen, babe,” Anna reminded him, reaching for the bottle.
“Later.” He didn’t wait for a response. He pulled off his shirt, stepped into the surf, and waded until the water reached his waist. His heart was pounding hard enough to hurt, every beat reminding him of Mano’s eyes at the buffet, the way he had looked at him like he meant nothing.
Ody dove under and swam straight out toward the buoys, searching the open water for Mano’s silhouette. When he spotted him past a cluster of rocks, he swam faster. Mano saw him approaching and turned away, cutting through the water to avoid him. Ody pushed harder. Mano pushed too.
Finally, Ody caught up enough to shout. “Mano, stop!”
He spun, furious. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I need to talk to you.”
“And I don’t wanna listen. Leave me alone.” He tried to swim away again, but Ody blocked him.
“Please. Just let me explain.”
“You already did,” Mano snapped. “Last night. And then again when you were screwing your girlfriend.”
Ody swallowed hard, the salt water stinging his throat. “Mano… I know how it looks. I know I messed everything up. I know I hurt you,” he said, barely above the sound of the waves. “But you have to understand, I didn’t plan any of this. I didn’t wake up one day thinking I’d ruin everything or… or kiss you like that.”
He dragged a shaking hand through his wet hair. “Anna and I have been together for two years. We’ve been through a lot. I care about her, I love her. I’m not gonna pretend I don’t.” His chest rose and fell too fast, guilt twisting deep inside him. “But when I’m with you… it feels different. It scares the hell out of me. It’s like something in me breaks open and I don’t know how to stop it.” His voice cracked, the water around them rippling with the tension in his body.
“I tried to ignore it. I tried to push it away. I told myself it wasn’t real. That it was just confusion or stress or whatever. But every time I look at you, it gets worse. Every time you talk to me, every time you touch me, I feel it more. And I don’t know what to do with that, Mano. I don’t know how to make it stop.” He took one shaky breath. “I’m not lying to you. I swear I’m not. Everything I said last night was real. All of it.”
For a moment, Mano didn’t say anything. He just stared at Ody, breathing hard, water dripping from his lashes as he tried to keep his expression cold. But Ody could see it. The way Mano’s jaw clenched. The way his chest rose too fast, like he was fighting something inside him.
Mano wanted to believe him.
Ody could feel it in the silence between them, in the way Mano’s anger was shifting into something deeper, something afraid. Because trusting him meant opening the same door Ody had slammed in his face last night. And Mano wasn’t sure he could survive that twice.
He looked at Ody with disgust. “Don’t do this. Don’t make me part of whatever game you’re playing.”
“It’s not a game.”
“It is,” Mano said. “You want both. You want the safety of your girlfriend and the thrill of sneaking around with me. That’s what this is.”
Ody’s eyes widened, hurt flashing across his face. “No. That’s not true.” His voice shook, and it wasn’t from the cold water. “I never wanted this to be some thrill. I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt her either. I’m just…” His head dropped, struggling to breathe normally. “I’m just messed up right now. I’m trying to make sense of something I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling.”
Mano didn’t respond, but his jaw clenched hard, like he didn’t want to hear a single word Ody was saying.
