He felt sick.
Chapter 30
Kash saw Anna’s name on the screen, the little heart beside it glowing like a warning. He didn’t say anything. He just waited to see what Ody would do. But Ody didn’t move. He sat there frozen, staring off to the side, his shirt still pushed up to his neck, chest exposed.
The ringing stopped. Slowly, he tugged his shirt back down and sat up straighter on the couch. “What did we do?” he whispered.
Kash’s expression softened. “You didn’t like it?”
“It doesn’t matter if I liked it,” Ody said, staring at nothing. “I… I have a girlfriend. I’m in a relationship. It’s not right to do this to her.”
“Do you regret it?” Kash asked.
Ody turned to him, hesitating. “It’s not right,” he said, more to himself than to Kash.
Kash watched him carefully. “If you didn’t have a girlfriend… would you still regret it?”
Ody dropped his gaze, shy and overwhelmed. Thoughts stumbled through his mind, memories of Kash’s kiss, his touch, his breath against his skin. “No,” he murmured, almost embarrassed by the truth.
A small smile appeared on Kash’s lips. “That’s good enough for me.” He grabbed his shirt and slipped it back on.
“You’re leaving?”
“You need time,” he said as he stood.
“Time for what?”
“To realize what’s happening to you.” His tone was gentle, but certain.
Ody’s eyes widened. “W-what do you mean?”
Kash walked toward the door. “I went through this stage too.” He glanced back at Ody. “Good night.” He opened the door and left.
Ody sat there, staring blankly, Kash’s words echoing in his mind.To realize what’s happening to me…
His thoughts were a mess. His pulse wouldn’t settle.
After a long moment, he unlocked his phone and opened an adult site. He searched for videos of two men together, just to see what he’d feel. At first, it was strange, unfamiliar, but when they kissed and touched, his breathing grew heavier. The moment things went further, he flinched, exited the page, and set the phone aside. It was all new, confusing, overwhelming.
He switched to videos of straight couples, like always. Those still affected him. They always had.Then why? Do I like both? No. How could I have gone twenty-one years without realizing anything? Or maybe I never had the chance…
The first time he saw Mano, he thought he was a good-looking guy. But the more he got to know him, the more something warm had started forming inside him. He told himself it was friendly.But if it was just friendly… Why did I kiss him?
He shut off his phone and tossed it onto the couch, then buried his face into the pillow, desperate for his thoughts to stop.
Sunday arrived, and Ody got ready for the coffee he’d planned with Mano. He had spoken to Anna later that night, forcing his voice to sound normal while guilt crawled under his skin. He told her he hadn’t heard the phone ringing. She believed him.
He barely slept. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Kash’s mouth on his, and Anna’s name flashing on the screen.
By morning, he still didn’t know what any of it meant, only that the lie sat heavy in his chest. He headed downstairs just as Mano pulled up on his motorcycle. He took off his helmet and looked at him. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Ody stepped closer.
“Where do you wanna go?”
“How about Kallithea?”
“Hop on.” Mano handed him the spare helmet.
