“I’m fixing it,” I say, because obviously. “You’re being dumb.”
“I’mbeing—”
“Yes,” I interrupt, holding his face in my hands. “Because it doesn’t matter if I go pro or not. I’m still going to need my physical therapist.”
He blinks up at me with a questioning stare, the skin of his cheeks hot under my palms. I’m holding my world between my hands, so I make sure to hold him gently, carefully.
I continue, “But even if you decide to, I don’t know, become an archaeologist and go fight demons like that guy from that one cartoon—”
“Mackie Shan Adventures?” he asks automatically.
“Yes! That,” I say, nodding. “Even then, I’d still need you.”
A small laugh slips out of him despite everything. “Patrick…”
“I’m serious,” I say, softer now.
He studies me, eyes still red, still uncertain.
“That’s hard to believe,” he admits. “You dated half the campus but didn’t stay with any of them. Now you’re not going pro, despite how hard you’ve worked for it for years.” He swallows hard, looking away. “How am I supposed to think you won’t just…move on from me too? Like, if the curse breaks or you just…get bored.”
I go quiet for a second and really think about it.
About the dates, about soccer, and about everything I’ve chased because I thought I was supposed to.
Then I look at him, at his stupid, perfect, splotchy, tear-streaked face, crooked nose, scar and all.
And I try,reallytry, to imagine a future without him in it.
But I can’t. It’s just…empty. Pointless.
“I won’t,” I say.
He frowns. “Patrick—”
“Ican’t,”I correct. “I can let go of a lot of things, okay? But not you. There’s just—there’s nothing without you, Colten.”
His breath catches.
“And I think,” I add, because everything is so clear for once, “I think I’m in love with you.”
Silence.
Colten just stares at me, his eyes wide, mouth slightly open. Like I just told him I’m actually going to go pro in football instead.
“Is that—” he swallows. “Isn’t that just the spell?”
I freeze. Is it?
But the second I ask myself the question, I already know the answer:no.
Without all the shoulds and shouldn'ts cluttering everything up, it's suddenly obvious.
I've always felt this way. I've always thought Colten was the best. I've always wanted his attention, I’ve always wanted to make him proud, and I’ve always looked for him first in a crowd.
Any girl I tried to date never matched up to him, even though I kept trying, because that’s what I thought I should do.
It’s always been Colten.
