I blink.
“That’s it?” I say. “You know I don’t date more than one person at a time. That’s how you get STIs and also a broken leg. Remember Andrew?”
“…I’m not discussing Andrew right now.”
“I’m just saying, I’m responsible.”
He exhales sharply. “It’s not going to work, Patrick.”
My throat gets tighter. I swallow painfully.
“Why?” I ask, my hands clenched into fists to resist reaching over and shaking him. “How can we make it work?”
“I told you,” he says, a little sharper now, “I don’t do temporary. I’m not going to be some convenient hook-up for you in between girls.”
Oh.
Oh.
I go quiet for a second, letting that settle. Is that how it sounded, this whole time? I flush in shame.
“…Okay,” I say slowly, stomach twisting with guilt. “Yeah. That’s—okay. I didn’t think about it like that. I’m sorry.”
He shifts in his seat, turning his back towards me. “Whatever.”
“No, I’m serious,” I say, pushing myself up on one elbow so I can see him better in the dim light. “That was selfish. I didn’t mean it like that.”
He doesn’t respond, the dark outline of his body tense.
He already told me that he doesn’t do temporary.
But…we have never been temporary. Besides, if I could kiss Colten, why would I want to kiss anyone else?
Taking a deep breath, in the darkness of the car, I say, “I can’t imagine finding a girl better than you.”
He freezes, his body going still in his seat. “…What?”
I smile at him, even though I know he can’t see it, because I thought it was obvious. “I’ve dated, like, most of the girls on campus. None of them are as cool or as interesting as you.”
“…Patrick.” He turns around, staring at me, his eyes faintly reflecting the street lights.
“Think about it,” I tell him, waving my hand over him. “You’re smart, funny, and you actually get me. Honestly, I’ve always thought it would make the most sense to date you.”
He just continues to stare at me.
“And now,” I say, because if he’s not going to interrupt, I’m just going to keep going, “with the whole spell thing making me attracted to you, it’s like, perfect, you know?”
He makes a strangled noise, which I take as encouragement.
“I mean, we already know we work,” I say, waving a hand in the air. “And you’re going to be my PT when I go pro, so we’ll be together anyway. It just makes sense.”
His face is doing something I can’t fully read in the dark, but he looks…overwhelmed?
“So, that’s that,” I finish, settling back into my seat and feeling satisfied. The tightness in my throat finally eases. “Unless you truly don’t enjoy being with me, which I doubt, then there’s no need to worry about it too much.”
I lean over and press a quick kiss to his cheek. “Good night, Colten.”
And then I close my eyes, content, at peace, and resolved.
