“You really have a plan?” she dared ask as they stepped over the threshold leading them to the outer edge of the wall enclosing Ashthorn’s premises. A small, hidden staircase hewn into the side of the rock curved down to the edge of the city.
Behind them, the stone door slid soundlessly back into place.
Khayrivven nodded, gazing out at the city at their feet. “I do.”
The hike downwas more than Lory would have believed she could do in such an elaborate dress, but Khayrivven hiked in front of her, always a step ahead and ready to catch her should she slip—not that she’d ever slip in these boots on dry stone steps. Skirts gathered in one hand, she followed him, frowning at the back of his head as he took a turn, guiding them away from the descending stairs and followingthe length of the hill instead. To her left, the rock reached high above her, Ashthorn’s walls beyond her reach, while on the right, only a waist-high rough stone wall kept her from tumbling two hundred feet to her death. She tried not to look down.
If they continued on this path, they’d arrive somewhere below the palace walls, and knowing Khayrivven, he already had a plan for how to get in. It probably wasn’t his first time sneaking into the king’s residence either.
Every so often, he turned his head, studying her for a heartbeat, before continuing at a steady pace.
“You have been awfully quiet,” he noted as he read her frown, but not the words she’d been quarreling with inside her mind.
“If you have something worth responding to, I will.” She didn’t mean for the snap in her tone, but too much had happened over the past weeks. Too many times her heart had soared and plummeted to easily open up.
“You know I can’t speak openly inside Ashthorn’s walls.” It wasn’t an excuse, just a reminder, and Lory knew he was right. Still, being left in the dark hurt.
“Didn’t seem that way tonight in the dungeons. We could have met down there before—to talk and plan, and—” No, not that. Not to lose themselves in each other, because Lory was very well aware how close to losing herself she was when it came to this man. She didn’t need to give him any more power over her.
“You also know that Lenya is tracking my every move when I’m there.” This time, it sounded very much like an excuse.
“What about your dreams? You have shared secrets there before. You could easily do it again.” The bitterness didn’t vanish from her tone.
He had nothing to say to that, so Lory trotted behind him, careful not to step on her skirts—or to burn a hole in the back of his head with her gaze. Fire flickered in her veins, unbidden.
“We’re off Ashthorn’s premises now.” No need to point that out. Khayrivven knew better than her where they were free to talk, andtalkingwas exactly what they were doing right now. “Or are you afraid you might say something you’ll regret? Are you afraid you’ll share a secret that will finally damn you?”
Khayrivven whirled around so fast, Lory nearly bumped into the wall, his eyes full of contained fire. His breathing was ragged and fast, and his fingers curled at his sides as if he had trouble keeping them there.
“Anything I say to you could damn me, Elory Vednis. You have no idea of the words I’ve been fighting to hold in since that night in my rooms.” His eyes flashed a dangerous shade of gray, a storm about to break loose. “No idea of the universe I’ve been forbidding to expand between us.” He blinked away the fire, but when he opened his eyes, the light flared brighter, threatening to consume her, and inside Lory’s chest, a light tug followed by a sharp pain reminded her that he didn’t love her. “I wish…” he broke off, pinching the bridge of his nose between two fingers as if that would help him think. “I wish I could lay bare my soul to you and damn the consequences, but I can’t.” Desperation laced his words, the emotion so strong, Lory could sense it creeping into her chest and taking stock of the chambers of her heart.
“Why?” Her question was swept up by the wind carrying on its wings the sweet scent of rain, but he heard her anyway, and her heart splintered at the expression on his face as he held out his hand.
She took it, wrapping her fingers around his. Like a soothing balm, that simple touch brought back life to her, and in Khayrivven’s eyes, the wildfire died down, no longer needing to rage.
“Because I can’t mess with destiny, and you of all people should have the freedom to decide for yourself what you want in your life.”
Lory didn’t understand what he meant by the first part, but the second…
“It’s a shame you don’t love me,”she whispered in her mind.
But he heard her; like, for the most part of this day, he heard her. And when the fire flared once more in his eyes, it wasn’t that of devastation. It was that of a world he might have glimpsed that she didn’t yet know about.
“I don’t,” he said, holding her gaze, and Lory’s heart did a painful throb, but he wasn’t done. Somewhere between the wealth of emotions warring in the captain’s expression, his control seemed to snap, and as it did—“Love is too weak a word for what I feel for you, Elory. It’s a mockery for the bond tying me to you and a shadow of what I see when I look at you.” He squeezed her hand, a reminder that he was here. That they both were, and they were, for once, really talking. “When I look at you, I see the future of Brestolya,the freedom of my people. I see fires burning down armies, and I see light… so much light.” He lowered his head, slowly shaking it. “I see my heart shredded when one day you’ll wake up and realize I’m not worthy of you.”
When Lory didn’t speak, he lifted his head, peering at her from those storm-gray eyes, and a droplet of water fell from the skies, landing on their joined hands, and inside Lory’s chest, the fiery thread came to life, weaving its path through her dress like a phantom sun. She barely noticed, transfixed by the conviction on Khayrivven’s face.
“I’m hopeless when it comes to you, Lory. You’re the beginning and the end of my universe. Without you, what I’ve been fighting for means nothing, and I’ll happily watch this world go to shit if I can have you. Maybe that makes me a monster, but you’re mine, Gutter Gem. And I’m selfish when it comes to you. There is no point in trying to deny it.”
The world shifted around her as Khayrivven stepped into her space, close enough so her chest rested flush against his. He wrapped his arm around her waist, not letting go of her hand as he tucked it behind her back alongside his, and with his free hand, he captured her face, tilting her chin up with his thumb and index finger. His eyes glittered in the dim light of the pending night, and he’d never looked more fierce or beautiful. And as he leaned in to kiss her, hovering just an inch above her lips as he waited for her to give him a sign she wanted this, Lory wasn’t afraid.
An explosion of emotions ran through her as she rose to her toes to close the gap, his mouth molding over hers with hot greed. She could die in this moment and wouldn’tquestion whether this was the right decision, because nothing in this world felt as good as Khayrivven pouring his deadly focus into kissing her, into touching her.
Like feathers, his fingers grazed her neck, the bruises still on her throat, half-covered by her hair. The wind tore on her skirts as it swept along the carved path, and as Khayrivven lifted her against the wall, his fingers digging into her thighs, thunder clapped above them, and the skies tore open.
Rain caressed her face as she tilted her head back to give Khayrivven better access as he kissed his path along her neckline, and she opened her mouth, tasting the tears of the gods.
If Khayrivven noticed the rain, he didn’t show it, his attention on her skirts as he pulled them out of the way, hands sliding under her dress. Her undergarments were loose enough for him to slide his fingers underneath with ease. A low, guttural moan rumbled in Khayrivven’s throat as he dragged his fingertips through her wet folds, and all Lory could think of was that she wanted him. Now.
