Hopefulness bloomed in my chest. I was simultaneously terrified Hudson was wrong and optimistic he was right.
“I know how much you want it,” he continued. “And it’s people like you who get it. I’ve never seen anyone so devoted to their vision of their future. When I tell you to go easy on yourself, I hope you don’t think I want you to shrink your dreams.”
“I don’t,” I said. My lips curved. “Thank you, Hudson. I believe in your future just as strongly, you know.”
He avoidantly shrugged a shoulder and sighed. “I envy you. I think a part of me got beaten down somewhere along the way—maybe when I saw nepo babies getting handed my dream job in the industry right out of school while I only received rejection after rejection. Worse, I usually received no response at all. Thenit’s like, why spend time and energy writing a film no one is going to read? I have a steady job, which is more than many people. It’s like if I didn’t make it right out of the gate, I might as well accept where I am. I’m bitter and afraid to reach again.”
I’d never heard Hudson say any of these things out loud before. I’d intuited parts of how he felt, but he always covered it up so well.
“Have you tried The Artist’s Way?”
Hudson glared at me for a moment, and then he grinned. “Fuck off, Nova.”
I smiled. It was a running joke that every New Yorker performatively displayed a copy of Julia Cameron’sThe Artist’s Wayon their bookshelf.
Hudson’s shoulders relaxed, and I knew he was grateful I’d broken the tension of his vulnerability with a joke.
“I’llread it,” I said. “I’ll read anything you write. We’re only twenty-five. In New York years, we’re like, eighteen, remember? We have all the time in the world to change our minds. To hop off the train and get on a new one.”
Hudson nodded, the corners of his lips tipping up. “Thanks, Noves. Joining a kinky cult and then getting shot with a gun has made you wise.”
Overhearing us, Wes threw us a pointed look, his lips tugging down. “Enough with the jokes about my girlfriend getting shot,” he snapped.
Hudson and I exchanged an impish look of solidarity that saidwe will literally never stop joking about that.
Wes responded by pinning me with a look that saidjust wait until we get home.
My stomach fluttered, and I returned to his side. He grabbed my face and kissed me, rendering me thoughtless as the girls madeawnoises around us.
His lips were at my ear for the briefest moment. “Behave.”
I melted, my entire being shifting in an instant at that single word. The DJ was spinning The Strokes, and Ruby popped another bottle of a non-alcoholic sparkling drink.
The room became more crowded as more of my or Wes’s friends stumbled in or poured out into the street.
When my friend from the comedy scene, Ella, found me, her eyes were wide with excitement. “I read your book in one day. Obsessed! I ordered a physical copy, and I’m going to need you to sign it as soon as it comes in.”
Wes rubbed my back as I struggled to take this compliment like a normal person.
“I thought you didn’t write smut,” she continued, waggling a brow. “Why the switch?”
The group of people around us fell silent, all eyes falling to me. I grounded myself with Wes’s soft trail of fingers down my back as I thought about my answer.
“That wasn’t the only shift with this book,” I said, digging for the right words and squirming under all the attention.
Lorelei sat on a barstool close by, sipping her diet coke. She smiled at me.
“I wanted to write something real. I wanted to see my friends in this story, their dreams and their disappointments. I wanted love that was gritty and complicated and raw. I love my older books, but I’ve changed since I wrote them. Life can’t always be tied up in a neat little bow.”
I met Wes’s eyes. The way he looked at me made the entire room fall away, until it was Just Wes and Just Nova.
“To Nova and her hot new release!” Ruby declared, raising her glass.
The room cheered again. I clinked my glass with Wes’s, and as we drank, my eyes never left his.
“I’d like to tieyouup in a neat little bow,” he whispered in my ear.
“We do that literally all the time.”
