“I hope not. That would be wasteful.”
What thefuck?
“What about Lorelei?”
“What about her?” he asked with mild irritation, as if bored with the subject change.
“She thinks you’re going to marry her,” I whispered.
He snorted. “And her psychosis is my problemhow?”
I slowly shook my head. “You don’t care about her at all,” I said, my voice small as I lamely repeated the obvious.
“Not really. She was fun at first. I enjoyed her wildness, but the light in her eyes was a ruse. At the end of the day, she is an inherently empty person. Worthless, even. Her servitude is cheap and given freely, and I find that pathetic.”
My heart squeezed in my chest, breaking for Lorelei. “Why did you keep seeing her then?”
“Well, I was going to discard her, but thenyouentered the picture, which renewed my interest. She became a useful tool after that, seeing as she knows you best.”
In other words, Roman only kept Lorelei around because of me, and he was only interested in me because ofWes.God,I should’ve listened to Wes that day in the diner. I should’ve stayed the fuck away from this web of sociopaths.
But then what about Lorelei? I knew Roman was an asshole. I didnotthink he was waving around guns and kidnapping people.
“So you’ll let her go now?” I asked, trying not to sound as desperate as I felt.
Roman paused, as if considering. “She’s a little too far gone for that. And she still may prove useful in keeping you in line.”
I swallowed. My blood ran cold.
“Anyway, I’m done talking about this. And you aren’t to worry. You’ll never have to decide anything for yourself ever again.”
“Until you get bored of me too.”
Roman laughed, resting the gun on my thigh. His lips were back at my ear. “Then don’t be boring.”
He went back to stroking my hair as my stomach twisted into knots.
“Besides, the light inyoureyes is real,” Roman said as the car pulled up to a massive, five-story townhouse.
He didn’t say anything more. He led me inside the urban mansion, covered by the darkness of this winter night. My teeth chattered, as I had no protection from the chill in my slip.
I considered screaming, but the gun pressed against my lower back kept me quiet. The way Roman spoke about Lorelei made it clear he was capable of evil, and his money and influence would ensure he’d never have to face any consequences.
My body trembled from adrenaline and the cold as I took the steps down to a basement level, Roman behind me.
What were my options here? Was I dead either way? Would it be better to be shot now than to be tortured and then shot later when he tired of me?
I wanted to live. God, I wanted to live.
With a gun to my back, this sentiment had never been more glaring.
Lorelei’s words to me before she packed up and left had only stung as badly as they did because there was a grain of truth to them. Before The Circle, Ihadbeen going through the motions, more focused on surviving than living.
And after Wes, I’d been too heartbroken to realize howaliveI’d felt since this summer. Maybe it had been the love or my erotic awakening or the book or the damn cult—likely a combination of all those things—but even through the money and career stress, it felt like I was truly living for the first time since my first year in New York City.
I’d told Jayne my dreams were dead to hurt her, but that wasn’t true. I knew there was more life out there for me to live. Beyond Wes, beyond this book, beyond The Circle.
But as the cool metal pushed me toward another door and Roman removed a key from his pocket, I realized there was a very real possibility I would die in this sinister, glamorous maze instead.
