The words tormented me as I showered with her, massaging her scalp as she leaned against my chest. I reminded myself a better opportunity would come. I would tell her everything, and I could finally close the door on my past for good.
Thatwasn’t the real me. The man Nova already knew was the real me.
She turned, that adorable, submissive look in her eyes. My heart clenched. I reached for her, holding her face in my hands.
When I first saw her today, she looked nothing like this. She’d been tense, her lips tugging into a frown she actively fought. I’d never seen her so stressed. I’d seen glimpses, especially over the past month, but this was different. I wanted so badly to fix everything for her, but I knew that was overstepping my role. Nova had made it clear which parts of her life were sacred, which were entirely her own. I would never touch them unless she expressly asked.
But seeing her now—relaxed, blissful, and lightened of all previous tension—was enough to soothe my caregiver instincts. It felt like I’d served my purpose.
I dressed her in one of my Interpol concert t-shirts, enjoying the way it swallowed her frame. Seeing her covered in my clothes and bite marks soothed the possessiveness that was only growing more dangerously intense by the hour.
I followed her as she explored the rest of the floor, peeking inside the guest bedroom and my small office until she found herself staring up at the skylight in awe.
She was so fucking cute, it hurt.
“This is more shocking than the computer in your office.”
I laughed. “I may still need some amount of technology for work, but I assure you, it has been heavily secured.”
“Are you a secret CIA agent?” she asked suddenly, mouth agape. “That would explain, like, so much.”
I narrowed my eyes and lifted her into my arms. “How dare you. When I accused you of war crimes, it was a joke.”
She giggled, holding on to me as I carried her down the stairs.
“I’m sorry. I don’t actually believe you would ever help overthrow democratically elected regimes in South America and install puppet dictatorships to protect American economic and political interests.” She took a breath. “You’re too sexy for that.”
I was mesmerized by her as she made me laugh yet again. My eyes crinkled, and she stared at my lips in satisfaction.
This girl. God, I fucking—no, it was too early. I stopped my own internal thoughts, just as I had when Nova asked me how I felt about her.
I’d told her the truth. But there was also something stronger clicking into place, something terrifying and overwhelming, a feeling I knew would overpower me the moment I acted on our physical connection.
Big feelings were frightening for an addict. I hadn’t felt something so strong for someone since Kallie, and even then, it was different. That love was toxic. Neither of us were healed, nor were we stable people. It was messy and destructive, even independent of my drinking.
But Nova…
Her dark eyes watched me closely, trying to read my mind like I’d seen her attempt hundreds of times before.
Holding back with her hadn’t stopped the inevitable.
Nova wasmine.
“Want to play Mario Party?” I asked.
Her whole face lit up. “Um,yes.We need pizza though.”
“I’ll order pizza.” I grinned as I set her down. “Sit down for a second. I’ll get you water.”
“Aftercare rules!”
I shook my head at her, still chuckling as I passed her a glass of water and pulled up the number of my favorite local pizza place.
“I’m going to beat your ass.”
My finger hovered over the call button. “Excuse me?” I turned her barstool to face me, towering over her. I narrowed my gaze at her wide eyes and slightly curved lips. “You’regoing to beatmyass?”
Nova blinked. “Yes.”
