“He is afraid I will be taken from him, by Emperor Victor,” I confessed. Inge huffed.
“Does that mean he has the right to tell you where to go?” he asked. “In these lands omegas are free! Even General Axel can’t tell you where you can and can’t go. You are no longer a prisoner!” He waved around a knife. “The next time he tries to keep you somewhere, you grab this knife and cut off his balls.”
I stared at Inge for a moment. I felt a noise coming from my throat. Before I knew it, there was laughter. We worked and laughed until midnight. We joked about alphas until my heartfelt lighter. Even when he left at the end of his shift, I did not feel alone anymore.
The nights in the infirmary were quiet. The silence was interrupted by coughs, or moans. I found myself humming, to replace the sound of rolling waves. There were healers and patients, and clammy stone walls. A storm brewing outside, the sound of the wind. It was a different sound. Nothing like home. No sloshing to accompany the noise that hit the glass. Cold despite a hearth that was always burning.
With nothing to do but keep watch, there I sat. Not any less sick of waiting than I was days ago. I kept myself awake pacing back and forth. I took the night shift to be alone. I stopped pacing when a soldier with a fever that would not break finally breathed steady and slow. A sign of recovery.
My breathing slowed with him. If he was not feeling better by morning, I would have used magic. There was no other choice.
The soft click of a door. A young healer's apprentice who woke up a little before dawn, marking the end of my shift. I wanted to wait a bit longer, to see if the soldier would remain calm and stable. I nodded at her, but we did not speak. The morning was too fragile, and the wind wasn’t steady. It came and it went. The rain became hail. My home would not have survived this storm. Would the people of Kanna be safe tonight? I lived in a fortress then, grand and grey. Grandness deceiving me into believing I was free. Nothing like the shore. So far from home.
I would not let myself go there at night. The empire could never be home again.
Once again I found myself humming a sailor’s song.
Footsteps growing closer. They clomped on the floors. I did not look up to see who it was. I knew from those steps. Whoelse would be there in the dead of the night, disturbing my peace with his lack of subtlety?
“My lord,” I said softly, although I wished to shout. I fluffed some pillows, as he was coming up behind me. “What is it you need?”
“You are avoiding me,” he said. Too loud for the setting. Too low to ignore.
“I am not, my lord,” I sighed. This place was too quiet. The storm between us was louder than the rain on the windows.
There was a hand on my waist. I looked up to see the young healer quickly averting her eyes at the sight of the General standing too close to me.
“You are,” he said. His breath on my neck.
“You want to do this here?” I asked. He grabbed my hand, gently turning me, spinning me around. One look into his eyes and I lost my valor. It was no longer possible to banish him from my mind. I was defenceless. He possessed me. The burning of the hearth reminded me of him. They mingled together, the General and the fire. I was stuck in between.
I missed him more than I should have. The magic that ran through me recognised him for what he was. Someone integral in the story of my life. Someone whose path I would have crossed in any timeline. It was an intuition that belonged solely to those made of magic. Did Axel know of our shared destiny? Or did his Werewolf instincts prevent him from connecting with the parts of himself that guided me?
Werewolf magic was physical and unapologetic, their magic was written in their own blood. I was purely a vessel sustained by the very magic that I called upon. The earth granted me energy, it ran from the ground through my feet. It warmed my heart, made sure it kept beating. When I asked for more than I needed, I returned it to the earth.
Was Axel much the same as me? Did he live off the hearths that burned plenty within the castle walls? Or did his strength come from within, like any other wolf? Was his magic simply a supplement?
We saw each other reflected in the fire. We stood there for a moment. Did he understand my thoughts?
Without a word, he walked me out of there. I did not protest. Through the courtyard, too many steps from the infirmary. We entered the castle again on neutral ground. Not near the omega quarter, or the General’s wing.
In an empty stone hallway, we faced each other once more. His dark eyes glowed with the memory of crimson. I made myself stand up straight and faced the alpha head on.
“You are upset with me,” he said. I saw that he was wearing white cotton, his sleeves rolled up. His lower arms exposed. Dressed as if thoughts of me kept him from sleeping, so he sleepwalked to me.
“Does that surprise you?” I asked. I raised an eyebrow. I let go of his hand.
“I was gone for days,” he said. His hand reached for my hair. I took a step back. “I couldn’t protect you.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“I live in your castle, surrounded by soldiers!”
He sighed.“I was not thinking,” he said. A low mutter. I scoffed.
“No, you were not. You were being an alpha. You were being a wolf,” I said. He answered with a frown.
“I have to keep you safe.” And this time I let him reach for me. His hand on my cheek.
“I am not a pet,” I said. Voice soft, but sure. “Learn to rein in your instincts.”
