Riley’s still talking. “Now, Mom says you’d better be coming for Christmas lunch. And I’m here to add emphasis to the invitation. I’m not above begging. They’ll be more polite if you’re there.”
“Oh, I don’t want to be a hassle. I’m sure your folks have their hands full right now.”
“They could always use a distraction. Come on. It’ll be like old times. Vera’s even going to come.”
At this I prick up my ears, trying to keep my expression neutral. “Oh really? I thought she was still at college upstate.”
Riley shrugs, taking a drink from the bottle of beer. “Yeah, she is. I did the brotherly thing, though, and guilted her into coming home. I wasn’t made to be a martyr. If I have to deal with them, so can she.”
“How’s your mom?” I ask, knowing Riley’s flippant tone is covering his worry.
Riley sighs, growing serious. “Not good. Dad thinks it’s a progression, but we’re waiting on a specialist appointment in January.”
I nod. We all knew this was a possibility. I’m sure that doesn’t make it any easier on Riley, Jamie, and Vera. “Sorry, man.”
He’s quiet for a while. We both stare around the bare kitchen rather than make eye contact. After another few minutes, Riley drains his beer and sets the bottle on the counter. “So I’ll tell them you’re coming?”
“Yeah, if you’re sure I’m welcome.”
He claps me on the shoulder. “Of course. You’re practically family.”
“Should I bring anything?”
He lifts a brow. “If you want Mom to never speak to you again, sure. Take your life in your hands if you like.”
I snort. “OK, noted. You wanna stay? I was about to set up the TV so I can watch the game.”
He shakes his head. “Nah, I’ve gotta go help Dad with the gutters. Mom reckons it’s about to snow.”
After he leaves, instead of setting up the TV, I lie on the mattress which is stretched out on the floor of the master bedroom next to the stack of pieces I’ve got to make into the bed tomorrow. For tonight I found the bag with my sheets and my warm duvet and will make do. I tuck my hands under my head and look up at the ceiling. I’m not sure how to feel about seeing Vera after all this time. I haven’t seen her since the night she left for college. The night she tried to kiss me and I had to shut that shit down faster than an oiled salmon swimming downstream.
There’s no way I could have let that happen. For a start, she was practically still in high school and I had graduated from college the year before. For another thing, she’s my best friend’s little sister, and Riley’s like a brother to me. Even if all that weren’t true, I care about her too much to go anywhere near her. The size difference between me and Riley is nothing compared to the one between me and his kid sister. I’d break a little scrap of a thing like Vera just looking at her.
God knows I’ve been with women and monsters twice her size and none of those times ever ended well. Which is why I’m aloneagain at Christmas time. I stopped dating last year. Deleted all the apps and shut down Riley’s attempts to be my wingman on the few occasions I went up to the city to visit him.
There’s no point. I’m just not made for a mate. Not unless I meet a half-giantess or a thick orc mommy. Which, even in Mosswood, a town full of monsters, is practically impossible. So it’s just me and my hand for the foreseeable future. Well, two hands, since one doesn’t quite cut it.
Eventually I drag myself up out of bed and unpack the rest of the boxes in the kitchen until things are looking a bit tidier. There’s still work to do, but I guess the only person who will care if it takes a while is me.
I decide on the novelty Christmas sweater that makes me look like Santa’s slightly younger cousin. I love novelty Christmas sweaters and almost never get a chance to wear them in public. My family hasn’t celebrated Christmas together since I was a kid.
When I pull it on, though, it’s looking a little shorter in the sleeves and tighter across the chest and stomach than I remember. Guess maybe I put on a few pounds. God help me if I’m still growing at my age. Soon I really won’t be able to fit through doorways.
I run a hand through my mousy brown curls hoping that will sort out the way they’re poking up at odd angles, but, of course,it makes it worse. Great. Now I look like Santa’s good for nothing younger brother.
I’ve never been the slim athletic type, but these days I’m losing the battle with the dad bod, despite the fact I can’t see myself ever being a dad. I guess bears are just built for warm hugs. That’s what Grandpa always used to say before he died. Standing beside my best friend, Riley, I look like someone carved me out of the side of the mountain but got too tired to do much carving and gave up before they finished. He’s tall and slim, with the sort of lean physique and good looks that make both men and women look twice. He knows it too, arrogant bastard.
I hook my radio onto my belt. I don’t have to work over the Christmas shutdown, but I am on call in case there are any emergencies in the park. Sometimes people think it would be a good idea to go out hiking while they can have the park to themselves, only to find out there’s a good reason we close the Black Pines to the public this time of year.
Feels a bit stupid knocking on the Ballards’ door. When I was a kid, Tilly and Jamie basically encouraged me to treat it like a second home and I would have just walked in. It’s been a while, though. I step back, reading the sign over the door which reads, ‘welcome to our den’ so it takes me a moment to notice when someone opens the door. Someone achingly familiar and yet subtly changed at the same time.
My eyes drink in as much as I can see of Vera’s figure as they trail up strong legs in black leggings tucked into big, fluffy socks up to where the hem of her oversized sweater covers slim hips. Her short red hair is pulled into a knot low on her neck, leaving a few strands free around her face to brush her pale cheeks. Her cheeks color as I meet her eyes. “Hi.” I’d like to pull her in for a hug, but I’m also running over the last time I saw her in my mind. The night she tried to kiss me and I think I broke her heart.
Fuck. This is awkward. I should never have come.
“Bas.”
We look at each other for another long, drawn-out moment while I berate myself for somehow forgetting the exact cadence of her soft, husky voice.
