‘Too right,’ he sighed. ‘I suppose it’d be bad form to admit that the other option is to steal it – seeing as you used to work here. Though,’ he leant in conspiratorially, warm breath tickling my cheek in a minty rush, ‘that would mean you know all the security measures, you could help me out – make it an inside job and I’ll cut you in for half the appendices?’
I could tell he was joking, but there was an air of slight desperation about him. He obviously needed the book and, for whatever reason, he seemed reluctant to get a library card sorted out. Which was a shame because it was useful to have, especially for someone in his position – the boat probably didn’t even have internet. Free internet was the most popular service aside from the printers and the photocopier. The actual books weren’t really on the top of anyone’s list these days.
‘The photocopier,’ I realised, and snapped my fingers. ‘We can copy the pages for you and you can take them.’
‘Genius – see, knew it would pay to have insider knowledge,’ Cooper said, seeming to relax now that we’d found a solution that didn’t involve his lack of address or personal information. Interesting that. But it wasn’t on me to pry.
I led him over to the photocopier – ancient and temperamental as always – directed him on which change it would accept and which it would simply swallow (anything round was a no-go – fifties and twenties only). The copier churned out warm pages with the incomprehensible diagrams on them. Cooper rolled them up and tucked them under his arm like a swagger stick, then offered me a salute.
‘Cheers. Now I just need to work out what they say and if it’s useful, and then how to implement it – easy.’
I laughed. ‘Well, if you need any other books or a lift to Halfords, let me know. I know a bit about engines too – though that’s mostly cars.’
‘That’s… unexpected,’ Cooper said, then looked embarrassed. ‘Jesus, that was awful – I sounded like my dad.’
‘It’s fine.’
He shook his head. ‘It’s really not. I’m sorry – I’ve spent the better part of thirty years trying to be just like him, but not any more. And that was a shitty thing to say. Sorry.’
The seriousness with which he was taking it was intense. I reached out and put my hand on his arm. He looked so angry with himself and the muscles under my hand were miserably tense.
‘Thanks for apologising – I know I don’t look like a car nut,’ I said, trying to lighten the mood. ‘I’m not, to be honest. I’d much rather let the mechanics do their thing. My dad is just a big believer in life skills. I can plaster too. Not well or anything, but passable.’
‘Starting to think there’s nothing you can’t do,’ Cooper said, relaxing under my touch. He didn’t say it in the way Richard would have. In that ‘all right, we get it’ kind of way. He was dead serious and earnest. He was looking at me like I was this competent, put-together person. It felt good, having him look at me like that. Being allowed to be proud of myself without worrying he’d take it as some kind of slight.
I realised I still had my hand on his arm and let it fall. He glanced at my retreating fingers as if he wished they were still on him. My throat was suddenly dry.
‘You know what they say – Jack of all trades, master of none. Except crochet,’ I said, flustered.
‘I’ll remember that. Thanks.’ He smiled at me and watched me for a beat too long, making me blush slightly. I hadn’t realised how close we’d drifted together. His voice was low and we were in our own private world. ‘I was actually heading back to the boat now, if you wanted to come back for a tea and a poke around the engine block – or just to check on the dog, you know. In case you were worried about him.’
‘I’m sure you’re taking good care of him – which is good because no one’s claimed him yet. But yeah, tea and a dog cuddle sounds good,’ I said softly.
I was thinking about Maeve and what she’d said about the biscuits. Had he planned to invite me back to his and it was just chance that he’d managed it so quickly? Or had they been intended for someone else?
Why did it matter? Just because he made me feel as if I was a person first and a woman second. Just because I was standing inches from him in the library and wishing he would kiss me. I was astounded at how badly I wanted him to. Had I ever wanted Richard this much? Ever felt this way before? The full – butterflies in my stomach, skin overheating, breath catching in my throat, practically giddy with it – need?
Outwardly I tried to seem normal, though inside I was alternating between the urge to kiss him and guilt over how quickly this was all happening after Richard. We kept chatting about the dog as we left the library. The sky had turned a menacing gunmetal grey and the air smelled of coming rain. Wonderful, maybe it would cool me off. I’d left my umbrella at the shop as well. My boucle coat wasn’t exactly waterproof either.
‘Poor bastard,’ Cooper sighed, as we walked down the chilly street. ‘I hope someone comes forward soon – he deserves to find his way home. He’s a good dog, even if he is eating me out of house and home. Boat and home, whatever.’
‘He at least deserves a name,’ I said, easily keeping pace with him. Occasionally our arms swung in such a way that our fingers brushed – it was electrifying. What was wrong with me?
‘Mmm, weird no one put it on his collar,’ Cooper muttered. ‘I’ve been…’ He cut himself off, apparently embarrassed.
‘What?’ I couldn’t help but ask, already half-smiling. ‘You’ve been…?’
‘It’s nothing,’ he waved me off, pulling his oversized waxed jacket tighter around himself. At the collar I could see the edge of the cashmere jumper poking out. I wondered if the jacket was something he’d bought at the charity shop or found on the boat. He didn’t seem to have much stuff of his own that I’d seen and it was adorably big on him. I found myself thinking that I could easily fit inside it with him if I wrapped my arms around his waist. He’d probably offer too, if we were waiting in the cold.
‘Come on, what?’ I nudged him and he sighed, but he was smiling now too.
‘I’ve been calling him Charlie. As in…’
‘As in Charles and Lady Di,’ I giggled. ‘Does that make him the boat’s official mascot?’
‘Hey, I’m the official mascot – he’s the captain.’ A few raindrops fell and Cooper tucked the photocopied pages under his coat for protection. ‘I think he knows more about that boat than I do. He’s definitely been in all the nooks and crannies since he moved in. You should see some of the stuff he’s dragged out of the little cubby holes. So many old doilies and dusty Dianas.’ He shuddered theatrically. ‘Haunting.’
‘Or haunted.’
