Me:You’ve never been on the receiving end of a booty call? Not even from that douchebag ex of yours?
Sophia:Okay, I know we’ve established that Connor and I were not right for each other. Thanks for that, by the way.
Me:Anytime.
Sophia:But I don’t want you to call him a douchebag. He’s nice, and someday he’ll make some girl happy. That girl just isn’t going to be me.
Me:Okay, would you be fine with it if I refer to him from this point forward as your “grossly misinformed ex”?Because he is, and it’s hard for me to ignore that.
Sophia:Hahaha, yes.
Me:Cool. Let it be stated on the record, for whatever your next article about us is, that I’m glad he’s out of the running for your attention.
Sophia:My articles aren’t about us.
Me:Then why are you flirting with me in them?
Sophia:Your arrogance knows no bounds.
Sophia:I’m texting because I have a question about hockey.
Me:And you’re not using a search engine for this research because…?
Sophia:I figured you’d be faster and more accurate.
Me:Should I just leave the sexual undertone of that comment alone?
Sophia:Yes, please. What are those stretch things you were doing called?
Me:You stretch before you surf? Or before your fancy, Navy SEAL workouts?
Sophia:Yes.
Me:Okay, well I don’t know about you, but I just call those…wait for it…
Me:Stretches.
Sophia:Thank you. You’re hilarious. I’m surprised more people aren’t trying to get access to your new phone number so they can hear this comedy firsthand.
Me:Thank you. My major is sports medicine, but I’d probably excel in your writing classes if comedy was a topic.
Me:Speaking of your major, seems like a good time to ask if you’re good at it. I seem to be defining words for you more than I’d expect from someone in their senior year who is almost done with an English degree.
Sophia:You know what, I’ll just use a search engine for the rest of my hockey questions. Their responses are less sarcastic.
Me:Also, less funny.
Me:Why do you want to know what those are anyway? I assume it was the groin ones that caught your attention?
I smirked at the phone as I followed up my message with a winky face, wishing I was with her to see the blush that I knew would appear on her cheeks when she read my question.
Sophia:I was thinking about the recent pop-culture obsession with hockey romance novels and when I saw those stretches it got me thinking about an interesting article topic.
Me:I bet it did.
Sophia:Well, it certainly seems like a more interesting topic for an article than talking about whatever flicky things you were doing with that stick.
Sophia:And it’s normal for an English major to need to learn hockey terminology.
